My Life in Azerbaijan - Heat, the unbearable heat!

July 15, 2010
Finally it rained last night! Perhaps the monsoon rain from India at last reaches Azerbaijan or maybe it is the Khazri wind arrives from the north, it brings us the most needed rain and also the desired coolness to this town, so we have a piece of the pleasure, a total relief from the tormenting heat.

Rain does not come often in my town, especially during summer. Azerbaijan normally receives 300 days of sunshine and it is the absolute true. Summer in Baku and my town is appallingly hot. Average temperature is well above 35C or 97F. It is so hot in the afternoon that you can find every one hiding under a tree, or drinking çay (hot tea) in a teahouse.

Teahouse is a byproduct of this heat, it is kind of like the coffee shop in America, except in America, the shop serves cold drinks, but the teahouse here serves hot tea. Occasionally, it does serve cold beer but rare. Another exception is: no woman is allowed to enter into a teahouse. It is the gender issue. Imagine I purchase a cold beer and sit in a teahouse alone; it will be a BIG news in town! It is definitely an OLMAZ! (forbidden!) By now, I have learnt to live with it and not be bothered by it.

In New York, we have hot weather as well, but I am not normally troubled by it since AC is everywhere. The luxury thing that I took it for granted is not so accessible here. As a result, I do suffer occasionally. Fortunately I live alone, so I wear as little as possible in my apartment. Frequent cold shower often helps.

The experience however, humbles me. As a New Yorker, I inherit the typical “cocky and arrogant” habits and sometimes they do sneak up on me unconsciously. Every so often I lost my “cool” when I was confined inside a minibus with 100 degree temperature and with no AC. The locals, in contrast, simply sat quietly and patiently for the bus to leave the terminal.

The rain stops when I head out to work. It is a pleasure walk with a cool breeze. Nature once again provides the best remedy. I shall live….

My Life in Azerbaijan - Commitment

July 14, 2010

“There are two rules in life:
never count the cost &
never do anything unless you can do it wholeheartedly….”

I believe in this immensely! It is all about commitment. When we agree to perform a task, how dedicated we are to get the job done. When we consent to exchange a vow, how devoted we are to keep those words alive. Much to my surprise, nowadays there are not many people truly recognize the important of a commitment, or appreciate the essence of a pledge. Seeing the increasing ET (early termination) rate of AZ7 and also hearing distressed news about our love one back home breaking promise with us, I can not help but falling into despair. Are we all losing our value?

The giant pines outside my apartment window are radiant in the evening glow. The sun is sinking behind a saffron cloud. An elderly couple with their hands clinging to each other slowly walks towards the sunset.......

My Life in Azerbaijan - A Job Offer

July 6, 2010
Last week, the director of HR of my organization in Baku called. She told me that the Vice Chairman (my counterpart) would like to talk to me. Right away I thought I was in trouble. After all, these past few months I have been sending him lots of e-mails asking questions and pointing out misstatements of the organization’s financials. He never answered any of my questions, I got a little bit frustrated so I sent him one last e-mail two weeks ago telling him “There are just too many mistakes, we need to talk!” Maybe he fed up with my attitude and wanted me to back off. Well, he cannot fire me, I am a volunteer! Expecting the worse, I went to his office.

He was later 45 minutes, but by now I am used to the “Punctuality Habit” of the locals. Finally he was ready to see me. The director of HR accompanied me to the meeting. I was wondering “WHY? Am I really in such a big trouble?” I met the Vice Chairman before. He is actually a gentleman. He apologized for being late, and after that he began to talk.

“Do you miss America Chi?”
“Of course”
“Do you like Sumgayit?”
“Yes, everyone in the branch is very kind to me”
“Living in Baku is better, lots of theater, shop, do you like Baku?”
“Yes, sure”
“What is your plan after Peace Corps?”
“I am planning to visit HK, see my family, travel and…”
“No no, I do not mean that, what is your future plan?”
“Oh, I need to find a job”

(Silence for a few seconds) He then looked at the director of HR first, then me and smiled,

“Well, our organization is going through restructuring, we can certainly utilize your skills to help us. It will be a senior level position. Do you think you will stay in Azerbaijan after Peace Corps?”

He really caught me off guard. I did not know what to say but I had to admit, I was flattered.

“Well, I haven’t thought about it…. but it is possible”
“You don’t want to leave Peace Corps right now, do you?”

Wow, is he asking me to quit Peace Corps. Immediately, my reaction is “NO”.

“I come to your country to help, not for my own personal interest”

I politely explained to him. He was a bit embarrassed, and then he continued,

“Are you willing to move to Baku and work in the HQ, we will subsidize your apartment, maybe after you finish Peace Corps, you will continue to work for us?”

At this point, I felt like floating in the air, feeling pretty good. This man was offering me a job, not just a job, a high level position job! but then I thought about “J”, my apartment, my friends in New York, NY China town, Utah, hiking, backpacking and….

“I need to discuss this with Peace Corps, please give me a week to think it over”

I left his office. On my way home, I kept thinking about his offer. The job market in the US now is very bad, when I finish my service with Peace Corps, I may not be able to find a job at once. Here in Baku, I am certain to have a job, this is truly a wonderful thing happening to me, but why am I not feeling so excited?

To be continued.

My Life in Azerbaijan - Meeting Hillary Clinton

July 4, 2010
Only a handful of PCVs were invited to the July 4 event in the US Embassy. The main highlight of the event is the visit of Mrs. Clinton, Secretary of the States. When Mark called and told me that my name was on the list, I was very excited and looking forward to meeting her. The true highlight of the day for me, however, was meeting Linda and Denny, the lovely AZ6 couple whom I was so eager to meet since I arrived in Azerbaijan. Denny and Linda gave me a lot of helpful information last year when I was preparing to leave for Azerbaijan. They are indeed a charming, kind, and gentle couple.

This is the first time I visited the US Embassy in Baku. The compound is located in a not so nice neighborhood but has a lovely garden. Nevertheless, from the garden, you can see Azeri laundries everywhere, due to the fact that the compound is surrounded by apartment buildings. The locals are not shy to displace their underwear. It is kind of embarrassed to have a conversation with Mrs. Clinton while the Azeri colorful “flags” are everywhere. No wonder Mrs. Clinton was telling us that the Embassy was seeking a better place to move.

The US Government only fed us ice cream and cold drinks. No BBQ, no hotdog, not even some chips and cookies. There were not a lot of American attending the event, only the US Embassy faculties with their families, people from the Peace Corps office and less than 10 Peace Corps Volunteers. It was a very hot day and the event was held outdoor, so Mrs. Clinton did not linger too long. She looked tired, after 5 minutes speech and hang around for another 5 minutes, she left for the airport. I did not even get a chance to shake her hand not to mention a photo! The rest of the day was uneventful, except when I requested a bathroom stop, a security personnel had to escort me inside the compound, waited outside the lady room until I finished.

It was not an exciting day as I was expected but I got a story to tell when I return to the States!

My Life in Azerbaijan - First Adventure - Part 2: Hiking

June 29, 2010
Lahic is a small village located in the center of Azerbaijan, population only 2,000. It is buried deep in the southern slops of Caucasus Mountains. Due to its natural beauty, Lahic perhaps is the most visited village by foreigners in Azerbaijan. When Vivian and I walk on the main street, we do not gather much attention or stares as we normally received in our towns. I am happy about that.

The entire village only has one main street which however, connects to labyrinth of side allies. This “V” shape cobblestone street still has its charm. It is the world oldest drainage system. The warm weather has melted the snow from the upper mountain. Water carrying debris keeps rushing down to this “V” shape channel and eventually joins the main river below us.

As we climb further up to the village, we begin to see more locals re-open their shops after their midday rest. The town was originally a copper mining hub, but that has died down and gradually developed into a craft center. Vivian and I wonder through many copper and brass shops which now sustain the village's economy. I wish my budget was not so tight that I could purchase a few items to help the locals. I saw a beautiful bowl that I think Wood and Jomi would love to have in their home. These are my dearest friends from New York. When I need to raise money for my project, I contacted them. Without any hesitation, they wired me the money within a week. They are really “a friend in need”.

When we reach the top of the hill, it is the end of the cobblestone road. Few hundred feet further is the main river. Across from the river is a steep hill. Beyond that steep hill is a vast green field dotted with many sheep, cows, horses and a farm house. By the end of the field is the ancient shepherd’s track leading to the top of the mountain. Judging from my hiking experience, it will take me less than an hour to scale up to the top. Vivian, however, does not agree with me, so I convince her to stay and I will go alone. I set my turn around time and ask her to watch me climbing up to the top. She agrees.

My Life in Azerbaijan - First Adventure - Part 1: Escape

June 26, 2010

Last week of June, Vivian and I were supposed to travel to Neftchala for the summer camp helping other PCVs. The area is famous for its sturgeon fish which produces the expensive Caviar. (Caspian Sea produces 90% of the world caviar!) Due to various reasons, we decided to change plan and go on our adventure: The Lahic Odyssey. We are glad we did it, and we had the most amusing experience during the two days stay in this small remote village of Azerbaijan.

I heard about Lahic many times from other PCV hikers. The place is exceptionally beautiful. It is one of Azerbaijan’s most picturesque villages. We take a 16-passagers minibus from the Ismayilli (nearest town) to get there. A 45-minutes bumpy ride zip zaps through many spectacular mountain cliffs. 500 feet vertical drop below is a ragging river snakes pass many gorges with striking rocky pinnacles. While enjoying this incredibly scenic ride, I spot a shepherd’s track clinging terrifyingly to the other side of the valley. Excitement goes through my entire body instantly; it has been a very long time since I did my last hike. Would it be great if I can follow this route and get to the top to get my first view of the Caucasus Mountains. After all, I heard so much about this ancient mountain range since I was a little girl.

Our minibus crosses a small stream and begins to climb up to a hill. Five minutes later, we stop in front of a travel agency where an English-speaking man approaches us. Vivian was there three weeks ago and she knows the owner of the travel agency. Unfortunately, he is in Baku but his brother, who also speaks good English and offers us his assistance.

We check in our room which only costs us 8 azn a night. Our room is very rustic, has four small beds with two chairs, a naked light bulb dangling from the ceiling, simple but clean. Toilet and bathroom are outside. After having cheese and crackers for lunch, Vivian and I can not wait to go out for our adventure.

My Life in Azerbaijan - My Favorite Time of the Day

June 27, 2010

After a week of travel, I am home and back to my daily routine. I like structure, certain times of the day to do certain things. It makes my days and weeks go much faster. I like that.

Everyday except Wednesday, I go to work at the bank from 10am to 4pm, afterward, take a 1.5 hours walk by the sea, and an half hour yoga before dinner. After dinner, I read, do some Sudoku to exercise my brain, then bed time.

Saturday is cleaning day, I clean my apartment and do laundry in the morning. Afternoon go to Baku and have my Azeri lesson. Sunday is cooking day. I hardly do any cooking in New York, but in Azerbaijan, eating out is considered luxury so I learn to cook some simple foods. Yesterday, I made my own jam! Yes, cherry jam and it is ok. Today, I make egg plant spaghetti sauce. Vivian taught me how to keep a good spaghetti sauce. I add some eggplants to the sauce that I made few weeks ago and put in more fresh tomatoes and hot peppers, and it tastes fantastic! Last week, I even baked bread, but it needs a few minor adjustments.  Tonight, I think I am going to bake a cake.

Breakfast in the morning is the time I cherish the most. In New York, I never had time to enjoy breakfast. I rushed to work, often skipped breakfast or ate very unhealthy. Here in Azerbaijan, I have an hour to enjoy breakfast before heading to the bank. Usually, I have fruits, toast, egg, or oatmeal, and a cup of coffee, more importantly, some flowers (which I picked during my daily walk) as a touch of nature. I sit by the kitchen window; listen to the bird singing, breath the fresh morning air and prepare for a new day. I begin to sense the essence of simple life. Life that I may not experience again once I return to the States. Only 18 months remain, so soon….

My Life in Azerbaijan - A True Friend

June 18, 2010
Besides working for the bank, I also need to work on community project. I have been thinking to do a health project educating the youngsters to take a better care of their teeth. Oral hygiene is badly neglected in Azerbaijan; some of the kids do not even own a toothbrush. Like every project, you need money.

I mentioned my project to some friends in America and asked them for a small donation. Few individuals respond immediately and wired me the money within a week. I am grateful for their generosity, they are truly “a friend in need is a friend indeed”. Of course, there are some never respond or choose not to help. I am not angry with them. They have no obligation to help me, to help the children they never met, to give money to a country they never heard of.

However, if a person is willing to spend thousands of dollar on things that they do not even need but never thought of using some of those money helping others, it does not sound right, isn’t it? After all, “helping the poor” is one of the five pillars of wisdom, I expect my friends to have that decent human quality in them.

My Life in Azerbaijan - Andrew's story: To be young is to be stupid

June 4, 2010
Andrew called me for some advice. I am glad he called. It shows that he still considers me as his friend. Andrew was in trouble few months ago. He eloped with an Azeri girl. For three days, Peace Corps and the girl’s parents were going crazy searching for them. The story instantly became a huge gossip among all the PCVs. His saga was posted in the internet and some harsh and mocking statements were made about his affair.

I am always the last one who knew about all the gossips, so when I saw Andrew last month during the training in Baku, I was unaware of his affair. So that day I greeted him without any “condemnatory, judgmental or disapproval” look. After he voluntarily told me his wild story, I honestly gave him my opinion and words of advice. I think he needed that and appreciated that as well.

Some PCVs are still making fun of him. His story is still a hot topic during any Peace Corps gatherings. I wish they could stop and give him a break. Whatever Andrew did, he did it out of passion, and he did it out of, what we all once believed in. “LOVE”. Andrew is young, his action maybe “stupid” but not against nature. I still remember how I was when I was young. I did wild things, I did things that my parents considered VERY inappropriate or sinful. I did things spontaneously, acted according to how I felt at that moment and could careless what the consequences were. But THAT IS THE BEAUTY OF IT! When you are young, you are entitled to make mistake, you are entitled to act stupid, and you definitely have the right to be rebellion! Those stupidities, rebellions, idiocies, foolishness and sinful acts add color to our youth. They are part of growing up. After all, life is about living, not just surviving! Having a notorious past, for me is better than having a boring life.

Every so often I wish I still had the courage to act spontaneously and freely, like when I was 19, not worrying too much, analyzing too much, or planning too much. I wish I could just DO it. As I grow older, I seek for security and take precaution for every move I make. I guess it is the byproduct of getting old. Like I said before, there are times for everything; times to have fun, times to fall in love; times to grow old….I accept it wholeheartedly.

As for Andrew, so long as he takes responsibility for his action and he does, we should leave him alone.

My Life in Azerbaijan - Maybe Someday I will...

June 13, 2010
After two weeks, finally the dizziness and the bad cold went away. I am healthy again! It is great to feel alive, to feel I can go out and face the world once more. To be healthy is more important than anything else for me. There are just too many places where I have not yet be, too many mountains that I have not climbed, too many dreams I have not yet accomplished. Too many things to do with so little time…I definitely need a strong healthy body.

While I was sick, I finished the book “J” sent me. “A vagabond for Beauty”, a book about a young man at the age of twenty, Everett Ruess who vanished into thin air in the wilderness of Utah in 1934. What fascinates me about the story is Everett’s nearly sinful lust for natural beauty. His ability to see, articulate and portray the magnitude, color, and changing moods of nature. When I closed the book, I wish I was there with him; exploring, venturing and disappearing….

The Red Rock Canyon Country in Southern Utah by far is the place I love the most. The climb to Kilimanjaro, Everest base camp, ancient Tepui and Mt. Rainer was unforgettable, the crossing of Sahara desert was memorable as well, but nothing, noting like the delicate beauty and quietness of the canyon countries in southern Utah that give me so much satisfaction, joy, serenity and deep peace. If I have to choose a place to die and be buried, it has to be an unknown canyon in southern Utah where a small running stream is nearby, cottonwoods and willows are abundant and most importantly, surrounded by beautiful smooth cliff walls…..Maybe when I am home in 2011, I will work for a National Park in Utah, spend the rest of my life searching for that beautiful burial site…:)

“Adventure is for adventurous” so true.

My fellow AZ7 PCVs,
There is beauty in adventure, go seek adventure, go live your wanderlust, whether in Azerbaijan or Utah. Serving the Peace Corps is an adventure; don’t lose sight of that.

My Life in azerbaijan - It is a very close call

June 7, 2010
So far more than 10 PCVs from my group quitted the Peace Corps. At first I had a harsh opinion about their ET (Early Termination) but now I realize no one should judge them unless you experienced what they had gone through.

Since I moved in to my new “expensive” apartment, I have been dealing with situations that far more than I can bear. (Remember, I am a New York City girl, I know nothing about broken pipes or leaks) First it was the kitchen. The pipe under the kitchen sink was so old that it broke the first week when I moved in. Then it was the bathroom. It flooded every time I took a shower. I called my landlord. He came, said “Mən bilirəm” (understood) and left. Two months passed, my bathroom problem continues. To take a shower, I have to put a bucket under the shower head to catch all the water. As for the kitchen, I place many containers and towels right underneath the pipe just in case it breaks again when I am not home. I am constantly living with fear that anytime the pipe will burst. (No wonder my blood pressure is up and down)

On top of that, at least two days a week, there is no running water and it usually happens during evening hour when I am in the middle of cooking or washing. When the water finally runs again, I can smell the odor of raw sewage everywhere; outside my window, from the toilet, underneath the kitchen sink. I have to pour cups and cups of bleach to tone down the smell. Now, I store so many gallons of water in my apartment that they can bath the whole army!

For a while, my life seems to be bearable again until last night. First it was the two monster bugs, black, hairy, ugly bugs showing up in my bathroom floor. I had no idea where they came from. I switched on the light and here they were. I froze and closed the bathroom door immediately. I walked back and forth outside the bathroom and did not know what to do. Finally, I graphed a huge towel, opened the door and throw the towel on top of them. I graphed a cooking pen and banged on the floor. My whole body was shaking when I did the “killing”. To clean up the mess, I washed the towels in the kitchen sink. Then, the Pipe leaked, and water was everywhere in my kitchen. What a nightmare. I was exhausted when I climbed to bed. Midnight, my upstairs neighbor began to bang on the wall; maybe they saw more giant bugs!

This morning, I went to the bazaar, a man approached me and asked me the price for a full body massage. (my town has a Chinese Massage Center)

“Mən bankda işlayırman!” (I work for a bank!!!, you XXX! I wish I knew the word in Azeri)

You see, how much "XXXX"I have to put up with. That moment, I thought about quitting, but I took a deep breath and went home.

My Life in Azerbaijan - Am I really Stressed out?

May 26, 2010
It has been a week that I am not feeling well. Everyday, it starts with dizziness in my head first, and then escalates to headache and by noon; I would be completely exhausted mentally. Yesterday at work, the symptom became so sever that I had to call Peace Corps doctor to get me home. Dr. Faud came right away and he took my blood pressure: 160/92!

My blood pressure is always normal. It was just a week ago that my blood pressure was 116/76 (normal 120/80). “Is your work very stressful?” Dr. Faud asked. Compare to what I used to do in Wall Street, the work here at the bank is nothing. “Let us follow up with this, take a few days off, don’t go to work, stop drinking coffee and tea, I will call you tomorrow” then he left. Today, the dizziness continues, again the headache. I am very frustrated! I did everything to keep myself healthy, the daily long walk, eating right, and the positive altitude. Why does my blood pressure become so high suddenly?

The only stress that I have is the constant “stares” and the verbal harassment from the teenagers during my daily walk. I have already come to accept the fact that the situation will never change, so I face them bravely every day. I thought I got over it already!

“You are like an animal in a cage, constantly being watched by them. You can suppress your stress but they are still there Chi!”

My PCV friend gave me her words of advice. She is on her way back to the US. (10th PCV from AZ7 quitting the Peace Corps) A month ago, her blood pressure was sky high due to her stress. She decided to call a quit. As soon as she made her decision to leave, her blood pressure went back to normal again. I pondered her comment and I nearly got emotional. Perhaps my stress is real.

Will I get better? Time will tell. I will deal with it, one day at a time.

My Life in Azerbaijan - Another Mishap, another Disillusionment

May 22, 2010
Woke up this morning, I heard another plane crashed in southern India. Another 158 people have died. It was just a week ago that a plane crashed in Libya and everyone died except a little boy. What is happening to the world? What is happening to mankind? Were those accidents act of God or they were tragedies that we, human, inflicted upon ourselves?

Modern technology has better our daily life, but it comes with a price, at times, too high to comprehend. “I craved for the past, resented the present, and dreaded the future” Wilfred Thesiger wrote in his famous book the “Arabian Sands”. He detested modernization; resented what the shoddy and materialistic world had done to the Arabian Peninsula. Although I don’t agree his point of view totally, I do sympathize his feeling. Often, I found myself struggling between two worlds: the modern and the still not fully developed world, like Azerbaijan, where old values still exist.

…our search for a future that works keeps spiraling back to an ancient connection between ourselves and the earth, an interconnectedness that ancient cultures have never abandoned.

Most of the Azeri youngsters whom I met welcome the modern technologies, skills and western cultures that Peace Corps volunteers offer. The university students in Baku loved the “sexy” dance that the American showed them during the “American Day”. Watching the young girls’ bodies twisting and swinging sexually alongside their male friends, I wonder what their parents will react if they see it.

Azerbaijan is still a conservative country. Most villages, single male and female are not allowed to go on a date. They cannot be seen in the public walking together. This seemingly repulsive culture may sound intolerable for the American, but it was the way of life that their parents, their grand parents and their great grand parents believed in. We, as an outsiders, are supposed to respect this ancient ethnicity or reject it just because our society does not believe in it?

I wish I had the answer but I don’t. Maybe I am old fashion, I still love to travel to remote places where cars and plants cannot penetrate and where something of the old ways still survive…..but those places have becoming less and less…..

My Life in Azerbaijan - I am Fine!

May 19, 2010
I have been receiving e-mails from home concerning my happiness here:

“Come home, you don’t have to suffer!”
“Are you ok, so and so told me you are not having a good time there”
“What the hell, it is not worth it, come home Chi”

I WILL NOT! For the last time, no way will I quit Peace Corps and that is final!

First, let me clarify, yes, I am having ups and downs here, (who does not?) and yes, my living conditions are well below my standards in New York, and yes, I miss a lot of things I love in New York. However, I am willing to give them all up temporally in exchange for the Peace Corps experience. I join Peace Corps not because I am unemployed in New York, not because I need to escape problems back home, not because I hate my life in America, and definitely not because I need a long vacation!

My reason to join Peace Corps cannot be described in just one or two sentences, but it all comes down to three words “Giving it back”. I am not rich, but I don’t have to worry about paying bills. I am not unhappy with my life for I have accomplished many dreams. I could have retired early, or got an easy job and be satisfied for the rest of life, but I often asked myself, is that what my life all about? Everything I did up to the summer of 2009 was all about myself, my life, my happiness, what about others, especially those I had met in Sudan, Tanzania, Venezuela, Nepal, Peru and China. Those hungry eyes, dirty faces and sick bodies were imprinted so deeply in my heart that my happiness alone is no longer enough.

“There is a candle in your heart, waiting to be kindled
There is a void in your soul, waiting to be filled
Do you feel it?”

I did not make a rush decision to join Peace Corps. I contemplated this life for three years, little obstacle is not going to make me quit. So my friends back home, if you want to cheer me up, send me words of encouragement, instead of making personal judgment about my happiness. Only I know whether I am happy or not.

My Life in Azerbaijan - I Made the Connection

May 18, 2010
After the incident with the three dreadful teenage boys, I freak out every time when I see teenage boys. They are never alone, always a group of three, four or six. Few days ago, a group of them even blew me a kiss. For God's sick, I am old enough to be their mother, when is this going to end!

I have been very careful. During my daily walk, I try my best to stay away from them. When I spot them from a distance, I immediately take a detour. If I see them walking towards me, at once, I cross the street to avoid them. Sometimes when I have no choice passing them, I stay close to some elderly people, or hide behind them for some protection. This “teenage-boy phobia” for a while drives me insane. But I have been firm; I will not become a prison of my own apartment, so I continue to take my daily long walk regardless how many detours I have to take. Two days ago, I finally made a connection with these “ill-disciplined creatures”.

Summer is approaching to my town and the Sea is full of people. School is over and boys are everywhere inside the Park. Two days ago, a group of 15-20 teenage boys were out jagging by the Sea. When I encountered them, they were taking a break. Of course, I froze as soon as I saw them. They noticed me right away and watched me for a few seconds. “Idman?” (exercise?) I had no idea where I got the strength to talk to them. Instantly, there was a burst of laugh and cheer “hello, hello, how are you? How old are you?” I waved, smiled and jumped up and down to show them, I “idman” too. The tallest boy put his thumb up, praising me. (in Azerbaijan, no woman do exercise)

Today, I saw them again. They were running pass me. As soon as they saw me, they cheered and waved and smiled, and said hello. I guess the “idman” made the connection between us. Maybe teenage boys are not so bad after all. I will give them another chance.

My Life in Azerbaijan - Lovely Creatures

May 13, 2010
Here are four little lovely creatures that I discovered few weeks ago. They were born about a month ago and are abandoned by their mother. Right now they are living in the basement of my building. At night, they sleep in the cellar and during the day time when the sun is out; they would come out and bath under the sun. Everyone in the building is feeding them to make sure they are not hungry.

Every morning and every afternoon when I go out to and come back from work, I greet them with gentleness. They were afraid of me first. As soon as they saw me, they would run back and hide behind the doorway to the cellar but still watching me with those timorous eyes. One time, one of them was so frightened that it ran itself to the wall and bounced back to the floor. It was so cute! Lately, I found them growing more fearless each day. Yesterday, three of them let me touch them, except that little silly one who continued to run itself to the wall. I hope it did not hurt its head.

I have been thinking to adopt one of them but I discounted the idea right away. They look so happy together, playing, sleeping and cozying with each other. They do not have a mother but they have each other. I will be happy to greet them everyday. They should be free and wild instead of confining inside my apartment.

May Allah protect them!

My Life in Azerbaijan - Doesn't take much to make me happy

May 12, 2010
Section of the path that I take my daily walk passes a dense wooded area. It has becoming my favorite part of the walk. One of the reasons is because it has less people around and I receive less stares and unwanted attention. Another reason is because its nice setting. Each day, temperature in my town is getting hotter. With the humidity coming from the Sea, usually I would be sweating quite uncomfortably by the time I pass this section. However once I enter this dense forest area, everything changes.

I can still see the late afternoon hot sun above me, but I am completely sheltered by the canopy of this dense wooded area. Inside this “green tunnel” the hot breeze from the Caspian Sea transforms into a cool draft. It is so soothing, so gentle so relaxing and so ever welcoming. With all the cheerful birds singing around me, I find myself wanting to linger here more everyday.

These past two days, I have been noticing a light fragrant every time I pass there. When I look, I see nothing but tall trees. This sweet-scented lightens my spirit and adds more enjoyment to my walk. Today I am determined to find its source. Again, as soon as I enter into this section, here comes the sweet fragrant again. I keep looking up to locate THE flower and I nearly run into a couple. I feel so embarrassed and it is then I find THE flower! It is a small shrubbery right underneath a pine tree next to my feet. You really have to look very carefully to find it. This little bush is covered with young green leaves and between those shinning foliage are the tiny yellow flowers. It is those little yellow flowers that give away the aromatic smell. Immediately I pick a few and bring home with me.

I put them in water and it is right next to me when I am writing my journal. Uh, I am happy, very happy to find this little charming flower in Azerbaijan. It really does not take much to make me happy! Tomorrow, I will go back there and pick more…

My Life in Azerbaijan - The Best "Shit" Story

May 2, 2010
This past week, we had a 2-day Peace Corps training in Baku. It was nice seeing all my PCV friends again; Vivian, Carol, Catherine and many mores. We exchanged news, gossips, traveling plans and the “Shit” stories. Among all the elderly PCVs’ “Shit” stories, the most impressive one has to be the one told by Catherine Brookskenyon.

Back when we had our orientation in Philadelphia, Catherine was my roommate. This time, we arranged to be roommate again so we could spend the night catching up. Catherine has lost some weight but she looks great. She continues to impress me as a super PCV. Her living condition has to be the worst among all of us. In her village, she has no site mate and no one speaks a word of English. Her Azeri was not so good either. Her apartment has no running water and no heat, but she overcomes all those hurdles and has been doing wonderful works for the local youngsters.

One of her most inspiring stories is about the toilet her host family recently built for her. Before she showed us the picture of her new toilet, everyone was assuming it must be the western sitting type of toilet with new shinning tiles, mirror and washing sink but when she cheerfully showed us the picture of her new toilet, I was sick to my stomach.

Catherine’s new toilet is nothing but a hole on the ground. Her toilet seat is just two pieces of wood placing on top of some bricks right above the hole for her to sit on. Her host family has a squat toilet but due to her knees problem, Catherine is unable to squat. Instead of complaining, she continued to use the squat toilet by standing up. When she had diarrhea (which for her is often), Catherine just carried extra water with her to clean up. Finally her host mother realized Catherine’s problem, so the family built her this temporarily outdoor “Shit hole”. When summer comes, this primitive toilet will have to be removed to somewhere else or be improved for sanitary reason. After Catherine finished her story, she looked at me and smiled. Still feeling so proud, “They built this for me, Chi! I love my new toilet”. I wanted to cry…

The story may sound so unpleasant to some people, but it is the story that will stay with me forever. This story should be an inspiration for all the existing and future PCVs, especially for those who quitted or those who are considering quitting. Compare to Catherine’s problems, their reasons to quit, for me are so insignificant. Catherine never lost sight of why she signs up for the Peace Corps. Her physical limitations, her current living conditions, her language problem, her health issues, and her family back home are problems that are common to all of us, but Catherine never used any one of those excuses to exit Peace Corps. Quitting for her is a betrayal of her commitment to Peace Corps, to President Obama, and to the people of United States of America. Peace Corps and the US should be proud to have her as an "ambassador" to Azerbaijan.

I am grateful to meet Catherine, to get to know her, to have her as my roommate since day 1 and certainly I am very proud to have her as my life time friend.

My Life in Azerbaijan - I found my flower in Azerbaijan

May 2, 2010
Spring is always the happy time for me in New York. I often go into the wood to see the dogwood bloom, to look at the wild iris sprouting out from the streambed and to watch the purple lilac dancing in the wind. Among all the flowers, I love lilac the most. Its intoxicated fragrant with tiny lavender flowers steals my heart some twenty years ago when I first discovered it near my college dormitory in upstate New York. Since then, every spring, I had to go into the wood and pick some lilac for my room. Moving to New York City, I continued to have lilac every spring to decorate my apartment.

This month, the local flowers in Azerbaijan begin to bloom, especially those along the Caspian Sea where I take my daily walk. I think about the lilac and realize how much I miss seeing it. Much to my surprise, yesterday I discovered a few lilac bushes hidden behind some tall fences. I was happy beyond words to see my old friend again. I wanted to pick some but there were people around. I always attract people’s attention by being a foreigner, if I pick the flowers openly in front of those people, I probably would creat a big rally and most certainly I would be on Azeri TV next day. So I waited until the right moment. This morning when I got up, it was cold, damp and raining. It was a good day to commit my crime.

Azeri people do not like cold and rain. Even just a drizzle, they will stay indoor. I took this golden opportunity to go back to the path and pick the flower. As soon as I got closer to the fence and conducted my act, I heard a man shouting at me.

“Hara gedirsən?” (where are you going?)

I was embarrassed to get caught so I pointed at the flowers and smiled. The man waved his hand and signaled me to go away. Immediately, another elderly man came to the rescue. He talked to the angry man a few seconds. Afterward, the angry man looked at me and nodded. He allowed me to pick just one, so I thanked him and quickly picked two and ran. By the time I got home, I was soaking wet but I was happy, happy that I have discovered my favorite flower in Azerbaijan!

My Life in Azerbaijan - Settling Down?

April 24, 2010
My friend sent me an e-mail mentioning about settling down. Remember long long time ago, these two words “Settle down” was my much loved subject. I wanted so badly to get married and to have a family. Ten years passed by and now nearly twenty years is approaching, “settling down” does not seem to be such a desirable thing for me anymore. Am I losing the passion for love? Or does “time and tide wait for no man” finally hit me. Am I just too old for that sort of thing? Now serving the Peace Corps in Azerbaijan, I hardly thought about dating. However I do miss having a glass of wine, candle light dinner and a romantic night. I do not believe that I am losing my passion for love.

There are times for everything, times to be innocent, times to grow up, times to have fun, times to fall in love and times to settle down, times to be contented, times to grow old and times to disappear into the night. I had been innocent, I had grown up, I had fun, I had fallen in love a few times and I had wanted to settle down, but those times had become past. I am at the stage of my life where I need to be contented, need to feel good about what I do. My immediate focus is the remaining 20 months serving Peace Corps. Giving something back to the world is my priority.

After twenty months, will “settle down” fit into my time slot again. I do not know, but I do know that I have always been unsatisfied with life as most people live it. I want to live more intensely and richly when I still have time to do so. Continually to be tangled by what went before does not seem to be a wise thing to do. So long as I know who was, is and will be forever the love of my life, I am contented.