Life After Peace Corps - Remembering my life in Azerbaijan

Laterly, I have been thinking about my life back in Azerbaijan.  Here is the article I wrote about the town I lived.  Amazing how time flies

My Wilderness in Sumgayit, Azerbaijan

Chi Chan, PCV Sumgayit

May 2011

More than a year ago when I was left behind in Sumgayit, some of my Peace Corps friends worried if I would ever make it. While they were elated for their next adventures in other parts of Azerbaijan, I nonetheless remained at this dusty, highly polluted, notorious industrial town for the next two years, ALONE!

Sixteen months have gone by and I am still here, absolutely content. In fact, I am beginning to feel melancholy about leaving this place in December. The source of my contentment perhaps stems from my daily walk in the park by the Caspian Sea. My initial motive was to use the daily walk to stay healthy. Soon after, I realized the walk also helped me to better integrate with the locals, and lift my spirits on a gloomy winter day. Slowly but surely, I became more and more addicted to the walk.

The best part of my daily walk is a “Green Tunnel”, a passageway no more than 200 feet long and 10 feet wide. Giant pines and tall fir trees loom on either flank of this confined area, forming an inviting cool canopy in summer, but a somber eerie dark place in winter. The best time to visit the tunnel is on a steaming hot summer afternoon. The air inside the tunnel is deliciously cool, at least 5 degrees cooler than outside. Young Azeri lovers often hide inside this tunnel and do all the things that their parents consider olmaz, so sometimes I refer this place as the “Lovers Lane”.

This corridor eventually ends at the foot of a 25-step staircase. A huge flowering shrub guards the stairs.  In spring time, this plant bears infinitesimal yellow flowers, its light but intoxicating fragrance permeates the entire tunnel and puts a spell on this secluded location.

One hot summer day, I visited the tunnel again. That day, the yellow flowers were in full bloom. While I was picking some for my apartment, (of course illegally) l stumbled upon a faint animal trail behind the bush. Ignoring Jeyhun’s warning about staying in populated areas for safety reasons, I decided venturing on this seemingly isolated dirt path which ultimately led me to discover a lovely, secretive place – the haven of Sumgayit.

The trail behind the bush was barely discernible, but I could still make out a few faded human and animal prints in the dry sand. I walked slowly down the dirt track. Soon I spotted a fragment of animal bone undisturbed on the sand. The vegetation around me grew to be increasingly dense. They were typical desert plants; dried bristly grasses, thorny shrubs and spiny-herbs. At one point, I had to elbow my way out.

Without any warning, a big hawk swooped low towards me, acting very aggressively. It startled me. The black bird wheeled, spiraled upward and eventually landed on the branch of a tall fir tree, still watching me from above, making loud, hoarse warning cry. Perhaps I was too close to its nest. I thought about retreating, but emboldened by curiosity, I decided to carry on.

After a while, I came out into a small open area. Almost at my feet, few small birds erupted from the grass. The place was nothing special. Just the same mix of desert vegetation and dry brown soil. And when I went up another faint trail, I found a little garden of prickly shrubbery with deep purple flowers.

That was about it. Except, perhaps because the place was so well hidden, it possessed a certain charm that intrigued me. On the fringe of the open field, a forest of ancient firs stood guard over the area, filtering out the hustle and bustle of life in Sumgayit on the other bank. Above, a big flock of black ravens circled, making kraaak-ing noise and doing a wild dance with the infamous “Baku Gale”.

The Park recently went through a complete makeover. Every walkway was made tidy with bricks; trees were scrupulously planted, trimmed and cut down. Flowers were artificially cultivated. But this small patch of land was left unattended. Here, plants grow in disarray; vines twist and twine, stretched in every possible direction to catch the sunlight, fallen branches serenely disintegrating under the immense, dry, desert heat, wild flowers radiate their colors, forms and character occur naturally, nothing is artificial, nothing is meticulously or strategically positioned and nothing is meddled by artificial impressions. Here, nature rules. The way the natural world is intended to be, and the way it ought to be!

I stood for a while at the edge of the field, looking out over it. The place exuded an air of rawness. What really enthralled me about this place was its lack of man’s signatures. There were no discarded plastic bags, cigarette butts, water bottles, papers or other human trash. Apart from the chirping sound of birds and the croaking cry of ravens, the place was completely silent, undamaged, whole, wild and alive!

After I had explored as much as seemed necessary, I turned and dug my way out to the main road. My unladylike behavior must have looked utterly crazy to the locals, and when I re-emerged from the flower bush, I attracted a few stares.

I went back to this place a few times. The fear that this place would eventually be exposed, or be invaded by the Azeri lovers made me stay away purposely. Each time, I smeared my footprints to conceal the trail. This apparently inconsequential place is special to me. What I saw in there was something wild, something unquestionably real, free of artificiality. It is my wilderness. I hope it will remain hidden, remain wild, and remain as it is.

Some nice moments in DC

Friends from afar, they brighten my day!

Mt. Vernon visit.  

The Old Rag behind me under a dark cloud

An amazing hike in Shenandoah

These two AT hikers are behind their schedule.  They will not reach Maine by October.  I gave them all my bananas, I am sure they appreciate them.  They have not had fresh fruits for a long time. Enjoy and have a good and safe journey.  It is not the destination, but the journey.  Donot give up!

Life After Peace Corps

Father’s Love

One of my co-workers is from Nigeria.  He is a young father with three children, a very religion man.  He is still very much an African, with traditional value, attitude and belief.   He is an average worker, typical Federal employee, laid-back, never get excited, but when it comes to parenting; he is much disciplined and firm.  Few times, I overheard him giving orders to his kids.  “Listen to your mother, Take a nap!”  He even admitted to me that he would hit his kids if they did not obey his order.   “I am their father, they have to listen to my orders,” he said it with tight emotion, acting like a tyrant.   He reminds me of my father.   

Growing up, I hated my father for he was an angry man and often he was violent.  My younger brother got most of the beating.  I had my share of punishment as well but less sever.  For many years, I assumed that he did not have a heart, did not love us.  When I moved to the US, I was happy that I did not have to see him again.  Over the years, my hatred towards him lessened.  Looking back to my childhood, I realized how hard it was for him to raise five children with his meager income.  He did not have much in his life, just worked day and night, seven days a week, from dawn to dusk.  The only enjoyment he had was a beer with his dinner.

Years ago, I went home for the first time.  My father came to the airport to pick me up.  His hair was completely gray, and he was wearing the same suit that he wore twenty years ago.  The sight of him made me cry....

Last week, friends from NY brought me a box of Chinese cookies.  I shared them with my Nigerian friend. I gave him two pieces and he took a small bite and loved it.    Ten minutes later, he showed me the cookies, which were now carefully wrapped in a napkin.  There was really not much left, just a small one with few crumbs. 

“I am so lucky today, Chi, I got some nice cookies for my kids” he smiled. 

His eyes were sparkling with kindness and I could feel his love for his children. I gave him all the cookies that were left in the box. 

Now I understand why I cried that day in the airport….

Life After Peace Corps -

Loveliness after the Storm

After the storm last night, I am eager to go out and find out the aftermath.  Outside, everything appears to be in disarray.  Tree branches, large and small, scattered everywhere.  Leaves soaked with last night’s rain stick to the ground and create various geometric forms and shapes.  It is quite lovely.  The apple tree in front of my apartment nevertheless is fairly intact; did not lose any major limps.  I find a few apples still clinging to its mother tree, dripping with raindrops, beginning to turn into golden color.  I shall have a taste of them in the fall when they turn red.  

Ah! here she is again, that chubby little red bird.  She hardly ever flies, always leaping on the grass, foraging for foods. She owns the apple tree; never allow me a near approach to her or her tree.  Every morning she greets me, (more like warns me) by her tree, making croaking sound and keeping her eyes on me.  This morning, she has a green wriggling worm in her mouth.  While she is busying with her prize, she still watches me closely, her jumping legs ready to spring for immediate flight or fight.   I say my usual “hello” and leave her alone. 

It is a fine calm morning, air warm but clear; not the slightest breeze astir; everything shining, the rocks and plants along the Four-Mile Run Stream are shimmering with dew.   The path leading to the heart of the stream is covered with debris, wreckages and remnants of last night hurricane like storm.  Many trees have fallen as a result of the 80-100 miles wind.  The most vulnerable one is the giant sugar maple.  I spot my old friend; the one that I used to seek shelter in a hot day has fallen on the ground.  Its giant truck splits into two pieces.  I am saddened by its final display, but realize that Nature has its way to keep things in order.  The Old gives way to the Young, soon the tree will decompose and give nutrient to the earth.  Young trees will begin to grow.  It is the law of nature, the cycle of life.   I just hope one day when my sun sets, I will cuddle down on the forest floor and die like the tree, the leaves and the flowers, and like them leave no unsightly remains calling for burial.   Can’t think of any better way to die.  Haha!

 

Continue on my wanderlust, I catch a glimpse of a brown rabbit hopping across my path.  I saw her before during my previously walks.  Perhaps she recognizes my scent and is not intimidated by my presence.  Soon she loses interest in me, disappears behind the dense bushes.  Life in nature does not seem to be slightly impacted by the storm.  While we human are still moaning and complaining the lack of electricity, gas and air conditioning, all the creatures I encounter in the wood are merrily going on with their lives.   Are we too greedy or are they too ignorant? 

Returning home, I discover the flower bed by my apartment is totally destroyed by the storm.  I find some lily plants crushed by the storm.  They are lying on the ground half dying.  I pay pity on them, bring them home and put them in a jar.  Soon, the lily flowers come back to life and thank me with their enormous flowers.  Again, they have survived!