My Retirement Years - Why Hate?

Recently a “I hate that person” Facebook posting within my Facebook community creates 
quite a stir.  A famous young singer is disliked by one of my Facebook friends.  His harsh comments made toward her, especially using the word “hate” surprises me.   

Hate is a strong word; to hate someone, one must have a strong feeling towards that person.  Family members do not get along, co-workers disagree on projects, husband and wife have heated quarrels, all can create a very unpleasant experience and eventually end up hating each other, that I can understand.  Hating a stranger whom you never meet, never have a relationship, and never even exchange a conversation, I question from where that hatred comes?  There is old Chinese saying, “hate is the oppositive of love, someone you ended up in hating must be someone you once loved so deeply”. 

Nowadays, you can read so much criticism towards Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle.  Many people HATE the couple.  The volume of dreadful postings trashing them on the internet startles me.  Some people even devote their entire career to write assaulting messages about the couple!  I am not a fan of Prince Harry and his wife. I may be bothered by their ignorance and disrespectful of the ancient British royal cultures and rules that were established and formed for reasons that are beyond their comprehension, but I certainly do not hate them!   Their choice of living is none of my concerns.  Afterall, why should we get upset over someone whom you are not related to, don’t care about or love?     As for my Facebook friend, I think what he really wanted to say was: he dislikes that person.  The word “hate” is not a true reflection of his actual emotion.  To dislike someone is probable.  It simply means disagreeing with them on certain issues, which is totally acceptable.

When we become intensely critical of a stranger, unconsciously, a negative mental and physical emotion inside you is ignited.    

“Don’t hate anyone for it kills your happiness.”

We should focus on something is more productive, someone means something to you.  How a stranger chooses to live his/her life is really nobody’s business.

 

 My Retirement Years - Traditional Chinese Courtyard

One trip to China, I encountered an aged but charming Chinese home.  The house is about 500-700 years old, it once belonged to a wealthy merchant.  The entranceway is flanked by two fearsome guardian stone lions: a male and a female. The male has his mouth open and a female with her protective paw places upon a cub.  It is believed that the male guards the home itself, and the female protects the inhabitants.  She represents the power of life.

An impressive heavy wooden door is painted with the customary crimson color.  Two corroded pull doorknobs resembled the head of a mythical creature gives impression that once upon a time, this home belonged to a prominent family.   I push the half-open door and right away, I am captivated by the unpretentious beauty of its courtyard.  Inside, flowering plum and peach blossom paint the garden with spring color. There are jasmine, petunia, and lupine flowers everywhere.  A graceful banyan tree stands tall in the middle of the garden, filters out some of the bright afternoon sun. The foliage of giant banana leaf moves about so elegantly in the breeze.  By the corner, a few wooden water buckets and a half-torn rope scatter around an ancient water well.  Years of neglect, algae and a few wild purple flowers are growing on the edge of the well. Peer into the well, I can see crystal-clear underground water mirroring the blue sky above.  

At the other side of the courtyard sits an empty rain barrel.  In the old times, the container was used to store water for daily use.   Some were used to nurture water lilies with a few goldfish swimming around.  A narrow path cuts through a round entrance, which frames a picture of what is behind.   I stare at the courtyard and can nearly hear children’s play and laughter, servants moving about to perform errands and a sweet melody playing by a beautiful young lady……..

Once upon a time, this idyllic home must be a nice place to live, to grow up and to retire.  The loveliness of the garden is palpable.