July 25, 2017
Webster Dictionary defines promise as “a declaration that one will do or refrain from doing something specified”. Chinese symbols for promise is:
I have a friend, the nicest person in the world, very friendly, very cheerful, and very accommodating. He is a good father, a good husband, a good grandfather, and a good friend. If you ask him for a favor, he will not hesitate to extend his helping hand. However, when it is time for him to honor his pledge, he fails miserably with many poor excuses. “My friend is visiting me, I cannot do it”, “I am sorry, my wife would not allow me to leave the house” or “Something just comes up, I need to cancel our plan”. In other words, he has better options, he changes his mind and that is that! He breaks his promises so lightly that he does not even feel badly of breaking it. His apology habitually comes with a charming smile, which irritates me even more. Making plan with him is the most frustrating thing.
Many who break promises want to be liked. They view being liked as the most important thing. They make a promise because they want your approval, your high regard or your respect. They are not worried about tomorrow. They only care how it goes right now. If the interaction with you goes well, then their job is done – for now, which is all that matters.
I was bought up to be a dutiful daughter to my family, a reliable person to my friends, and an honest citizen to my country. I perform and fulfil those promises every day. Even when I have a 103-degree temperature, I still pick myself up to attend a meeting that everyone is expecting me. Integrity is for yourself. Yes, others benefit from your having integrity, but the basic reason you strive for consistency in words/ideas and practice is for yourself. Without integrity, you will never feel a sense of serenity. The degree to which you lack integrity is the degree to which you become at odds with reality.
Work on integrity within yourself. That way, you will expect the same from others, and you will not settle for anything less. Raise the bar on yourself, and you are much more likely to attract the right people and drive away the wrong ones. Today, I no longer associate with this friend for I truly believe my life is better off without him.