Thursday, November 09, 2017

Oh Tiger Woods

November, 2017


I have recently seen Tiger Woods’ mugshot on internet and what a shame!  This man used to have everything, money, fame, beautiful wife, cut kids, and caring parents.  Overnight, they disappeared.  He lost his greatness in golf, his wife divorced him, his health deteriorated, and the saddest part is, he could not pick himself up and take full responsibilities of what he did. He turned to drugs, heavy drinking, isolation, loneliness and self-pity.  To err is human.  We all go through life with periods of difficulty.  We are allowed to grieve, to get mad, to be depressed and even to do stupid things.  Nevertheless, once we let them out of our system, time to move on.

 A recent article published in suggested that “Tiger is facing the reckoning that all young and powerful men face, the end of that youth and power, and a future spent figuring out how those things might be mourned and possibly replaced”.  I disagree.  Tiger Woods is not old! He is only 41.  For a man it is just the beginning of life.  We have an old Chinese saying, “Man at his 40s, is like a flower just started to boom, whereas Woman at her 40s, is like a used tea bag, no more value”.  In theory, Tiger is at his peak.  Can he be a great golfer again, can he build a new family with another woman for a second time, can he be a good father once again to his children, can he regain his health, and importantly, can he be a Tiger Woods again?  If there is will, there is a way.  People do not say that because it sounds good, but because it is the absolute true!  

 People today still trying to figure out the causes of his failures. They even put the blame on Tiger’s father Earl.  At Tiger’s younger age, his father may have some influence on him, but once he reached adulthood, he was on his own.  So stop the blaming game.  Personally, I think money and fame have something to do with it.  When a person has too much money or fame, it is not a good thing.  Money can provide and can destroy as well.   Fame, is about power, too much of the power means obsession, life can get so complicated when you have both.  If I were Tiger Woods, I would disappear, forget his trouble for a moment and turn his focus to others, perhaps travel to faraway places where no one knows who he is. Return his life to basic and see how simple people live.  Maybe he will discover why the poor people manage to survive with so little, but they are happy.  Why a penniless climber is elated when he reaches a peak? Why a retiree is content watching sunrise and sunset every day.  Why a little boy enjoys catching fish in a creek and why a woman cries with joy when she sees her new born.  Those are things that Tiger Woods never had a chance to experience.   

Maybe he will find happiness again by living as Eldrick Tont Woods (he real name), instead of the famous Tiger Woods, even just one day.


Tuesday, July 25, 2017



July 25, 2017


Webster Dictionary defines promise as “a declaration that one will do or refrain from doing something specified”.  Chinese symbols for promise is:


The 1st character means “utmost sincere”, the 2nd symbol means “word”.   Both words have a very commanding annotation: Integrity, which means consistency between thought and action.  Nothing upsets me more than receiving a false assurance and later it is broken with an irresponsible and shameless excuse.  Keeping one’s promises matter! Nobody should make promise that he/she does not intend to keep.  When getting to know someone, it is crucially important to watch for his or her consistency in words and deed.  To a healthy person, it is of paramount importance to “say what I mean, and mean what I say”.  Unfortunately, that is such a rare quality in today’s society.

I have a friend, the nicest person in the world, very friendly, very cheerful, and very accommodating.  He is a good father, a good husband, a good grandfather, and a good friend.  If you ask him for a favor, he will not hesitate to extend his helping hand.  However, when it is time for him to honor his pledge, he fails miserably with many poor excuses.  My friend is visiting me, I cannot do it”, “I am sorry, my wife would not allow me to leave the house” or “Something just comes up, I need to cancel our plan”.    In other words, he has better options, he changes his mind and that is that! He breaks his promises so lightly that he does not even feel badly of breaking it.  His apology habitually comes with a charming smile, which irritates me even more.    Making plan with him is the most frustrating thing.  

Many who break promises want to be liked. They view being liked as the most important thing. They make a promise because they want your approval, your high regard or your respect.   They are not worried about tomorrow. They only care how it goes right now. If the interaction with you goes well, then their job is done – for now, which is all that matters.

I was bought up to be a dutiful daughter to my family, a reliable person to my friends, and an honest citizen to my country.  I perform and fulfil those promises every day.  Even when I have a 103-degree temperature, I still pick myself up to attend a meeting that everyone is expecting me.  Integrity is for yourself. Yes, others benefit from your having integrity, but the basic reason you strive for consistency in words/ideas and practice is for yourself. Without integrity, you will never feel a sense of serenity. The degree to which you lack integrity is the degree to which you become at odds with reality.

Work on integrity within yourself. That way, you will expect the same from others, and you will not settle for anything less. Raise the bar on yourself, and you are much more likely to attract the right people and drive away the wrong ones. Today, I no longer associate with this friend for I truly believe my life is better off without him.

Friday, May 12, 2017

In Due Course

May 12, 2017

I never a fan of politicians.  They all start as an ordinary people like us, but once they become a congressman, senator or political leader, everything changes.  First it is the money.  Overnight, their source of income expands; their bank account receives untraced wire transfers.  After a few years, they move to an upscale neighborhood.  Making lunch reservation at the Russian tearoom is no longer required.  A luxury hotel suit is made available to them with no cost.  Now, they fly 1st class or receive offers from business billionaires to use their private jet for free. Their spouse, kids, relatives and in-laws benefit too.  Their children go to prestige Ivy League school even they clearly are not qualified.  After graduation, they receive outrages salary by doing odd jobs.   Their criminal relatives, in-laws and friends receive pardon even their sins are unpardonable.

 Once upon a time, these politicians loved to talk to church folks, university students, street vendors, blue-collar workers and housewives, volunteered their time to help grassroots organizations, and offered free speeches to inspire youngsters.  Today, they are busy playing golf with Wall Street CEOs, sailing with tycoons, wining and dining with foreigner diplomats.  If you ask them to support your charitable event, or to invite them to your fund raising gala, they expect something in return, percentage of your collected funds have to be “donated” to their private “charitable foundation”.   If you cannot afford them, no matter, plenty of Wall Street CEOs, and CFOs are willing to pay them large sum for making speeches, and of course, not for nothing.     The Clinton is such corrupted politician.

Over the years, I have watched the Clinton, both husband and wife, shifting their political views to whichever way the wind blew, lying about their lies to justify their more lies, betraying their friends for political gains, and worse of all, making fault promises to the Americans to gain their votes.  When they were caught, first they denied, then they blamed others, and if unsuccessful, their best defense was almost always the same, “right wing conspiracy”.  The night Hillary Clinton was defeated by Donald Trump, I was asleep.  When I heard the news in the morning, I could not believe that was real.  But it was more than real.   I was elated.      

I always believe that God, in due course, condemns mortals who are dishonest, evil and greedy.  In Clinton’s case, it took a long time, so long that everyone, including myself almost believed that the Clinton was God’s favorite children and they could get away with murder. But Clinton’s denunciation from God comes with a perfect moment.    I wish I could see Hillary’s face when she first realized her “glass ceiling” dream was shattered.  She will never be the 1st female president of the United States.   As for Bill Clinton, his punishment will come someday, maybe worse than what his wife received.

It was a good feeling to see bad people get punished, to know God indeed is fair and has its plan. 


Monday, January 23, 2017

That Special Tree

July 19, 2015


First spring moved to Virginia, I was pleasantly surprised to discover so many mulberry trees growing around my neighborhood.  I just returned from Peace Corps - Azerbaijan and still felt nostalgia for the uncomplicated life there.  So seeing a mulberry tree is like seeing an old friend from Azerbaijan.  In the village where I lived, nearly every house has a mulberry tree in its court yard.   Right before summer arrives; the mulberry begins to ripen.  Women place a huge blanket or tarpaulin beneath a mulberry tree, children kick, hit and shakes its branches playfully as instructed by their mother or grandmother.  Their playful action brings down all the ripen mulberries down to the ground.  Women collect those precious little berries and make jam for their homemade breads.  My host mother makes the best mulberry jam.  The taste of that sweet delectable glue on toast is one of my much-loved breakfasts in Azerbaijan.        


Just down the hill by where I live in Virginia , there are two mulberry trees.  One bears black fruit and the other has white berry.  The white one growing on the hillside is my favorite.  The fruits are bigger and sweeter.  The tree boughs are strong and healthy; its leaves are big with shinning dark emerald hue.  Although the tree is very tall but some of its branches bend downward and allow a petite person like me to have easy access to its fruits.  Early June, I walk by the tree every evening after work and collect its berries.  Mixing them with yoga, I eat these miracle fruits two weeks straight for lunch.  Berries of any kind are antioxidant.  Besides providing me with the best nutrition, the fruit is gift from god, free of charge.    My neighbors often stop and look at me with odd stare, drivers slowdown on sidewalk wondering what in the world I am doing.   I guess “civilized” people do not pick fruits directly from tree.  They would rather purchase them from supermarket! 


Even after the fruit picking season is over, the tree continues to intrigue me.  Its fallen fruits provide feast to many birds and squirrels.  Leftover ones decay and fertilize the earth.  After the initial acquaintance with the tree, I visit it often.  Especially on a hot summer day, its thick foliage offers a cooling canopy.  Many times, I image myself hanging a hammock under the tree, look up to the rustling leaves above my hammock, fall asleep and have many many wonderful dreams.   


One evening returning home from work, I looked up the tree and saw a bird with bright red breast, perching on a branch and singing its heart out.  Then a black squirrel rattled up and down the tree barks, chasing the bird out of its territory.  I stood there enjoying the saga unfolded.  Gradually the sky turned pale, gray and then dark.  Afterward a magic began.  Tiny sparkling of lights came into view underneath the tree.  They were fireflies.  As an urban dweller living most of my life in New York City, seeing a firefly is exciting to me.  I was acting like a little girl, chasing and catching the lights.  Despite the mosquito bite and the unbearable itches, I lingered under this special mulberry tree for as long as I could.   


That night in bed, the vision of that tree, calm, enduring, with the wind whispering through their boughs, brought sleep and memories of the peaceful periods in Azerbaijan.


Monday, January 16, 2017

January 16, 2017

Two months after the election, some folks still refuse to accept the result. Hillary and her team continue to blame others for her lost.  I dislike politician for most of them are egotistic and lack of a true motive to serve the public.  They may start with a good intention, but soon surrender to temptation; money, fame and power.  Hillary and her husband are the epitome of today politician.  I am not a fan of Trump but he had the audacity to voice what most of us afraid to say, so he is a better choice.  

While most of us are ready to move on and accept Trump to be the next president, some arrogant democrat including the Clinton, continue to play the blaming game.  It is everyone’s fault but theirs.  For them, accepting responsibility of their action is the hardest time to do.  To admit they are wrong is sin.  Not only have they lost the election, they have lost their self-respect.  I pity them.

I was a Peace Corps Volunteer.  My contribution to the world is no less than that of the president of the United States for my motive is pure and humble.  I admire candidates who run their campaign at the grassroots level, visiting small towns by bus and not by private jet, asking ordinary citizen and not the Wall Street billionaires to fund their campaign, talking to mum and pop and not Hollywood celebrities about their unpretentious daily life and wearing a regular clothing and not a designer outfit to shake our hands.     

Hillary’s lost is inevitable.  Anyone runs a campaign and lives his/her public life as supercilious as hers will fail.  History will validate that.

Sunday, January 24, 2016


January 22, 2016
Over the years, I have written many adventure stories and short essays, made countless entries to my face book and blog.  My affection of writing stems from reading; and my passion of reading springs from my innate aspiration of adventure, and endless love of nature.  

My early writings, received unexpected attention from friends and strangers, but they were “raw”, marginally acceptable; plain, full of errors and as such received countless attacks from one reader.   I never paid much attention to his insensitive and cruel remarks, for I know deep down inside he enjoyed reading my stories or he would not keep analysis them and came up with those remarks.  Nonetheless, I did begin to pay more and more attention to my writing including narrative skill, appropriate grammar, and organization of storylines.  I read more intensively, when come across some good descriptive words, skillful sentences, I memorize them and try to apply them on my next writing.  Sometimes, I find myself completely lost in my reading, unaware of my surrounding and indulge myself to a piece of good adventure story.   My friends begin to think that I am growing odd, eccentric, and even anti-social.

Their reaction reminds me of a classmate in the 5th grade.  He was a quiet fellow, average student and always sat in a corner with his head down, totally absorbed in whatever he was doing.  One day, his behavior caught our teacher’s attention.   He was asked to stand up and show his hands.  What we saw was astonishing, delicate little animal figures carved out of a piece of chalk were exposed.  I don’t remember what punishment he received, but it did not stop him from carving.  He continued to live intensely in his own world making beautiful figurines.  As soon as he had a piece of white chalk in one hand and a knife in the other, he was happy.

Writing is a lonely process but it is satisfactory one. It is this strange satisfaction, this joy of molding words into sentences that gives me the most profound incentives to writing.  It is difficult to explain and hard for others to understand.  It is similar to the joy my 5th grade classmate had; his chief delight in life was to crave a figure out of a chalk.
To my friends who think I am growing odd, all I can say to them is: they have no idea of the fun I am having!   

I may never be able to sell a story for a penny, but if I have written a sentence that “sings”, I pay myself a million dollars.  

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Retirement or Not

Retirement or not
January 17, 2016

The creator of Spider man, Stanley Lieber, who is 93 years old, was asked by a reporter when he intended to retire.   He smiles and says “I enjoy what I do, why should I retire?”
His reply echoes my friend Derrick’s answer to my repeated question “when are you going to slow down, Derrick?”  His answer is always the same, “I enjoy what I do Chi!” 

After he retires, Derrick works as a translator, devotes his time to help the non-English speaking Chinese immigrants for their needs and rights.  His work is admirable but keeps him very busy.  Derrick is an old friend and an excellent hiker.  Many times, I wish he could quit his busy translating work and join me for the outdoor adventures.  My motive maybe a bit selfish, but I do want to see him enjoy his retirement and return to his passion which I always assume is “hiking”, period.

33 Retirement Wishes, Messages and Happy Retirement CardsDerrick still enjoys hiking, I am sure.  But his passion is more than just that.  Helping others is also his “zeal”.  He is one of those lucky individuals who know exactly where his heart lies and is passionate enough to pursuit that desire until the end.   “Why should he retire?”  I finally understand.  Maybe next time, when I announce that I want to retire early, in stand I should say

“ I am changing my career to which I love so much that I will never ever retire!”

Thanks Mr. Stanley and Derrick for waking me up, your insightful advice and the commendable example of life.