Sunday, May 30, 2010

My Life in Azerbaijan - Am I really Stressed out?

May 26, 2010
It has been a week that I am not feeling well. Everyday, it starts with dizziness in my head first, and then escalates to headache and by noon; I would be completely exhausted mentally. Yesterday at work, the symptom became so sever that I had to call Peace Corps doctor to get me home. Dr. Faud came right away and he took my blood pressure: 160/92!

My blood pressure is always normal. It was just a week ago that my blood pressure was 116/76 (normal 120/80). “Is your work very stressful?” Dr. Faud asked. Compare to what I used to do in Wall Street, the work here at the bank is nothing. “Let us follow up with this, take a few days off, don’t go to work, stop drinking coffee and tea, I will call you tomorrow” then he left. Today, the dizziness continues, again the headache. I am very frustrated! I did everything to keep myself healthy, the daily long walk, eating right, and the positive altitude. Why does my blood pressure become so high suddenly?

The only stress that I have is the constant “stares” and the verbal harassment from the teenagers during my daily walk. I have already come to accept the fact that the situation will never change, so I face them bravely every day. I thought I got over it already!

“You are like an animal in a cage, constantly being watched by them. You can suppress your stress but they are still there Chi!”

My PCV friend gave me her words of advice. She is on her way back to the US. (10th PCV from AZ7 quitting the Peace Corps) A month ago, her blood pressure was sky high due to her stress. She decided to call a quit. As soon as she made her decision to leave, her blood pressure went back to normal again. I pondered her comment and I nearly got emotional. Perhaps my stress is real.

Will I get better? Time will tell. I will deal with it, one day at a time.

No comments: