May 19, 2010
I have been receiving e-mails from home concerning my happiness here:
“Come home, you don’t have to suffer!”
“Are you ok, so and so told me you are not having a good time there”
“What the hell, it is not worth it, come home Chi”
I WILL NOT! For the last time, no way will I quit Peace Corps and that is final!
First, let me clarify, yes, I am having ups and downs here, (who does not?) and yes, my living conditions are well below my standards in New York, and yes, I miss a lot of things I love in New York. However, I am willing to give them all up temporally in exchange for the Peace Corps experience. I join Peace Corps not because I am unemployed in New York, not because I need to escape problems back home, not because I hate my life in America, and definitely not because I need a long vacation!
My reason to join Peace Corps cannot be described in just one or two sentences, but it all comes down to three words “Giving it back”. I am not rich, but I don’t have to worry about paying bills. I am not unhappy with my life for I have accomplished many dreams. I could have retired early, or got an easy job and be satisfied for the rest of life, but I often asked myself, is that what my life all about? Everything I did up to the summer of 2009 was all about myself, my life, my happiness, what about others, especially those I had met in Sudan, Tanzania, Venezuela, Nepal, Peru and China. Those hungry eyes, dirty faces and sick bodies were imprinted so deeply in my heart that my happiness alone is no longer enough.
“There is a candle in your heart, waiting to be kindled
There is a void in your soul, waiting to be filled
Do you feel it?”
I did not make a rush decision to join Peace Corps. I contemplated this life for three years, little obstacle is not going to make me quit. So my friends back home, if you want to cheer me up, send me words of encouragement, instead of making personal judgment about my happiness. Only I know whether I am happy or not.
I have been receiving e-mails from home concerning my happiness here:
“Come home, you don’t have to suffer!”
“Are you ok, so and so told me you are not having a good time there”
“What the hell, it is not worth it, come home Chi”
I WILL NOT! For the last time, no way will I quit Peace Corps and that is final!
First, let me clarify, yes, I am having ups and downs here, (who does not?) and yes, my living conditions are well below my standards in New York, and yes, I miss a lot of things I love in New York. However, I am willing to give them all up temporally in exchange for the Peace Corps experience. I join Peace Corps not because I am unemployed in New York, not because I need to escape problems back home, not because I hate my life in America, and definitely not because I need a long vacation!
My reason to join Peace Corps cannot be described in just one or two sentences, but it all comes down to three words “Giving it back”. I am not rich, but I don’t have to worry about paying bills. I am not unhappy with my life for I have accomplished many dreams. I could have retired early, or got an easy job and be satisfied for the rest of life, but I often asked myself, is that what my life all about? Everything I did up to the summer of 2009 was all about myself, my life, my happiness, what about others, especially those I had met in Sudan, Tanzania, Venezuela, Nepal, Peru and China. Those hungry eyes, dirty faces and sick bodies were imprinted so deeply in my heart that my happiness alone is no longer enough.
“There is a candle in your heart, waiting to be kindled
There is a void in your soul, waiting to be filled
Do you feel it?”
I did not make a rush decision to join Peace Corps. I contemplated this life for three years, little obstacle is not going to make me quit. So my friends back home, if you want to cheer me up, send me words of encouragement, instead of making personal judgment about my happiness. Only I know whether I am happy or not.
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