January 30, 2011
It is bad enough to receive daily harassment from the local teenage boys, so when I discovered a “hate note” in my mailbox during the Peace Corps MSC (Mid Service Conference), my Peace Corps spirit was shattered. The note was from one of my fellow Peace Corps ass
ociates. Yes, it was not from the Azeri boys but from one of us. Looking at the note, I was confused first. I tried hard to rationalize as why such an offensive note would be written and delivered to me personally. I expected support from my PCV friends, not attack. If we begin to turn on each other, what strength do I possibly still have to cope with those dreadful Azeri teenage boys again?
After turning the note to our country director, for the next five minutes, I felt isolated. I could not hear a word of what our guest speakers said. I was hurt, sad and just wish that someone would come over and tell me that the whole thing was a mistake. Fortunately, it did. The whole saga was over within half an hour, thanks to our country director. I received an apology and I was relieved to know that the note was not, in fact, mean to direct to me personally, and the whole matter was really a big joke. Standing in front of me was this little fragile sweet young girl whose name I could not even remember. She was shaking and nearly in tears. I accepted her apology wholeheartedly. She really had no reason to “hate” me, so I believe her. I HAVE to believe her. She is one of us!
Thinking back to my younger years, I often did foolish things like this. Even today, I still made the same mistake once in a whole. My elder sister and “J” often received my verbal and “e-mail” abuse. Although I really did not mean those awful words and deeply regret for what I said and wrote to them, my apology to them afterward still could not make thing “whole” again. Like a nail hammered to a wall, even after it is removed, the scar is still there. The damage was done and no matter how sorry I was, I could not remove the hurtful feeling that I inflicted upon them.
Remember President Obama’s recent speech
“it’s important for us to pause for a moment and make sure we are talking with each other in a way that heals, not a way that wounds”
His wisdom echoes….
It is bad enough to receive daily harassment from the local teenage boys, so when I discovered a “hate note” in my mailbox during the Peace Corps MSC (Mid Service Conference), my Peace Corps spirit was shattered. The note was from one of my fellow Peace Corps ass
ociates. Yes, it was not from the Azeri boys but from one of us. Looking at the note, I was confused first. I tried hard to rationalize as why such an offensive note would be written and delivered to me personally. I expected support from my PCV friends, not attack. If we begin to turn on each other, what strength do I possibly still have to cope with those dreadful Azeri teenage boys again?After turning the note to our country director, for the next five minutes, I felt isolated. I could not hear a word of what our guest speakers said. I was hurt, sad and just wish that someone would come over and tell me that the whole thing was a mistake. Fortunately, it did. The whole saga was over within half an hour, thanks to our country director. I received an apology and I was relieved to know that the note was not, in fact, mean to direct to me personally, and the whole matter was really a big joke. Standing in front of me was this little fragile sweet young girl whose name I could not even remember. She was shaking and nearly in tears. I accepted her apology wholeheartedly. She really had no reason to “hate” me, so I believe her. I HAVE to believe her. She is one of us!
Thinking back to my younger years, I often did foolish things like this. Even today, I still made the same mistake once in a whole. My elder sister and “J” often received my verbal and “e-mail” abuse. Although I really did not mean those awful words and deeply regret for what I said and wrote to them, my apology to them afterward still could not make thing “whole” again. Like a nail hammered to a wall, even after it is removed, the scar is still there. The damage was done and no matter how sorry I was, I could not remove the hurtful feeling that I inflicted upon them.
Remember President Obama’s recent speech
“it’s important for us to pause for a moment and make sure we are talking with each other in a way that heals, not a way that wounds”
His wisdom echoes….
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