My Life in Azerbaijan - Kindness of my Neighbor

July 31, 2011

Right beneath my balcony is a mulberry tree. Summer time, its leaves over grow and its branches spread everywhere. My balcony is practically sitting on top of that tree. I really do not mind the tree. I enjoy watching its branches waving back and forth with each breeze from the Sea. When the afternoon sun is so strong and the temperature becomes unbearable, the tree with its broad branches casts a shadow to my balcony, creating a lovely and inviting place to sit and cool off.

However, the only problem is; my laundry wire intersects with the tree. Winter when the tree is bare, it is not a problem. Summer, I often find my laundries tangled with the branches. Last week I tried to use a long stick to knock down some overgrown branches, but in vain. I was either not strong enough or my arms were too short to reach the branches. Eventually I gave up. This morning, when I hang my laundries, I notice something different about the tree. I did not really become aware of it until I hang my laundries. The overgrown branches are no longer there. Someone, sometime during the week, when I was not around, quietly climbed up to the tree and cut down those branches for me.

When I first moved in to this small, dusty and antique apartment compound, I hated the attention. Kids would be chasing after me; housewives followed my moves and whispered endlessly about me, and men, of course, stared at me intensively. I tried to be graceful and said my “salam” to all of them. Overtime, slowly and surely they have accepted me. Today, I realize not only that they have accepted me, they actually adopt me, watch over me as well. Perhaps last Sunday, someone accidentally saw me struggling with the tree; he/she decided to give me a helping hand.

I am moved, deeply touched by his/her kindness. My eyes become watery as I hang my last piece of laundry on the wire. Thank you neighbor, whoever you are. I will ask Allah to watch over you and your family, like the way you have been watching over me.

My Life In Azerbaijan - Pain that I can not bear

July 18, 2011

Unexpected news arrives today from home....

Although I have long believed that time could heal all scars, today I can once again feel, deep and quick, the pain of a long distant past, the pain of a fruitless relationship, the pain of that day's parting in Philadelphia. The pain, for a moment over whelms me. It is the time like this that I wish I was not alone.... but I am, so I weep, cry and sob......

It was more than 18 years ago that we met. The memory of that moment had been imprinted vividly enough to last for all these years. I don't remember the granular detail, but I remember the essence of how it happened, and that is enough...

I will miss him, everyday of my life.

My Life in Azerbaijan - Climbing another Everest

July 15, 2011

Pick up a book from Peace Corps office, “My Everest Story”, it is a book about a young man climbing all the dangerous mountains since he was 13 years old. By the time he reached 16, he already acquainted with some of the best known climbers in the world, shared with them the hardship and the joy of Everest experiences. Although the book mentioned that he was just a regular kid, for me he is an exceptional human being. His philosophy of climbing is so different from that of other climbers. Mark Pfetzer is his name.

Mark and I have a few things in common. First, it is the dreams-to-reality ratio, we both score high. Similar to Mark’s belief, once I decide to take on a skill or an activity or a dream, I become committed. I learn, prepare and immerse myself so intensely that success is not only predictable but inevitable. A discipline, so many people I know is lacking. I wish there was a “Commitment” major in every university so the youngsters could learn the importance of holding on their dreams and not giving up easily. Reinhold Messner (a world renowned Everest climber) once said that climbing Everest is “Not strength”, he said, “but will. Will makes the body go up like an arrow”. A truism I found repeated often throughout my life - “If there is a will, there is a way”.

It was nearly 15 years ago that one of hiking club friends told me that she wanted to do something big. I was excited for her. After a while, I realized that was all talk. She did nothing to prepare for that “BIG” dream. Today, she is still moaning and groaning how unhappy her life is, how difficult to achieve anything. She blames her English, because she can not speak English well. I nearly wanted to ask her why she dropped out of her English class after just a few months. And today I saw similar problem exist among other PCVs. Some of them did not realize that coming to Azerbaijan is only the beginning of their commitment to Peace Corps, behaving like a truth Peace Corps Volunteer and remaining until the end of their service are the biggest part of their commitments. It is disappointing to see them quit so easily for whatever reason that they think is justifiable, or behaving like a typical “bad American” in front of the Azeri.

Again, it all comes down to “Commitment”, the simple secret to success. Joining Peace Corps was a big commitment that I made in 2006. Back then, I had to worry about a big mortgage, an obligation to my aging parents and a lot of consequences to consider before making that big step. It was a 3-year painstaking process, but I remained committed.

Today, nearly at the end of my service, I feel proud, another milestone, and other accomplishment I set out to do. Looking back the past 21 months, not a single moment that I thought about quitting. It has taken me so long to get this far, so quitting was, is and never will be my option, for I truly believe in Commitment.

My Life in Azerbaijan - Strange but it is True!

July 10, 2011
The temperature in the shade is 43C or 110F, not a drop of breeze in the air. What happens to the Baku gale? For two days, my town has been steamy hot like hell. In the afternoon, the entire street is deserted. You can find men, cats, dogs, chickens, ducks, cab drivers and street cleaning ladies all squat under a tree, any tree they could find just to escape the unbearable muggy heat. Maybe it is coincident; the authority decides to cut off running water from 10am to 7pm, so you have to clean yourself with your own sweat.

Days like this, you should stay away from local buses, walk rather than sit inside a crowded minibus with smelly Azeri men for they do not believe in taking shower everyday, even in a boiling hot summer. Most buses have air-condition, but they never intended to be used. If you try to open the window, the old lady sits next to you would order you to SHUT the window. If you refuse, someone would shame you. How could you offend an old lady! “Don’t you have a grandmother at home!” they said.

After running, I pass by a store to get a cold drink; sorry, the refrigerator is only for show. The drink is not cold, even the beer is hot. “You will catch a cold if you drink cold water” the store owner tells me. Now, I understand why those men in the tea house would drink HOT tea even they are soaking wet from the hot sun, why my co-workers roll their eyes when I told them I took cold shower in the summer, and why water melon is not chilled to eat, and why little babies are all wrapped up with layer of blankets in summer, BUT BUT BUT, they all love ice cream. Isn’t ice cream cold? They swim in the Caspian Sea, isn’t the sea water cold?

Would someone please explain all these to me?

(These kids are from my neighborhood, I love them, they are all out of school and love to say Hello! Hello! Hello! to me. )

My Life in Azerbaijan - Touching someone's Life

July 4, 2011
Early this morning, received a text message:

“My dear friend and teacher, u are the best, I now getting on the bus. I gonna leave home to army, I wont forget u, Bye, I love you”

It is a message from a nice young man. For a few months, we worked together on the “Junior Achievement Program Azerbaijan” project, helping six local high-school students to compete with the annual event. After the end of the project, I also helped him to finalize his college research paper. He has been treating me like his big sister, a mentor.

He is an upright, very good-natured young man: polite, passionate, gentle and kind. He speaks English very well but still wants to improve his level, so I ordered an advanced TOFEL book with CD from the US and gave them to him as a gift. When he held the book in his hands, he was nearly in tears. He wanted give me a big hug but it is an “Olmaz” in the Azeri society, so he kept telling me that he loved me. (I am sure, it is the friendship kind of love”) He just graduated from college this summer and has to join the army for one-year. Knowing that he probably would not see me again, so he texted me with his final farewell and made sure his family would be available for me if I need any help. I am touched, deeply moved by his gesture.

Nearly three years ago in Peace Corps New York regional office, I explained to the recruiter my motive to join Peace Corps. I told them that I did not expect that I could change the world or even change anyone’s life by joining the Peace Corps. However, if because of my present, somehow, someway, I touched one or two individuals’ lives, and had some impact on their future, I had done my job as a volunteer.

I know this young man’s life will never be the same again. Before meeting Susan and I, he knew nothing about Peace Corps, and had no contact with any American or foreigner. He confessed to me once that he had problem understanding why I was in Azerbaijan, why I would be willing to leave the comfort of my home, live in a foreign country, and work with strangers for nothing. However, he showed his admiration, and willingness to do the same for his country in the future.

I left him with Peace Corps contacts in Baku, hoping that next year when he returns from the army, he would apply for the LCF position and work with more Americans. He has a lot of potentials, just needs someone to unlock them and that is why I am here.

I still remember his smile, his tearful eyes……..I hope I will see him someday, I hope he will excel.