I heard news about my fellow PCV, who is just as the same as I am; a minority PCV, is having a very tough time in her community. She was constantly being stared at, made fun of, and receiving harassments from boys, and finally Peace Corps has to relocate her, hopefully, to end her misery, or not.
Listening to her complaints from other PCVs, I realize that her problems are not unc
ommon. I encountered most hurdles she is experiencing, especially with those dreadful teenage boys. I was first angry, upset, then depressed, but I finally realized that unless I changed my attitude, the situation would never get better. After all, it was my problem, not their!Seeing Asian PCVs, the locals never register in their minds that we are actually American. No matter how many times I told him, “I am an American”, they would just keep asking the same question until I explained to them that I am an American Citizen, which they would acknowledge. They are curious about me. Who is she? Why is she walking in our neighborhood? What is she doing here? Where is her family? Is she married? Where is her husband? Until and unless they resolve those “mysteries”, they will never leave me alone. But, never in a million years would they intentionally harm me. If they knew they were hurting my feeling, making me feel uncomfortable, they would have apologized or maybe even feel ashamed. Even the teenage boys, they never mean to be unkind to me. All they did was to get my attention, get me to talk to them so as to satisfy their curiosity. That is all.
Now, I am no longer troubled by their stares. As soon as they looked at me, I smiled and said my “Salam”. 99.9%, they returned with a smile and a “Salam”, even the teenage boys! They are actually very shy creatures. I make a lot of friends in my town due to my daily walk. A teenage boy who has been my friend since June works in a teahouse by the Sea. Few months ago, he saw me walk by his teahouse everyday and just kept staring at me or making fun of me with his buddies. One day, I stopped and smiled with a “Salam”. His face immediately turned very red, but he replied with a “Salam” and we began to chat. Once we were connected, he was thrilled to be my friend. He found every opportunity to introduce me to his teahouse friends, young or old. Once they all got to know me, they no longer stare at me, but greet me everyday with a “Salam”. Now I am their special friend from American. (or from China)
My word of advice to my fellow minority PCVs: You need to change your attitude, re-program your mind to view those stars and harassments as a “hello, I want to know you”. Remember, we are a PCV, an ambassador from American, a stone face will never win a friend! Be flexible, be patience, and have a sense of humor; the three most important qualities a PCV should always maintain. We will be here for another 14 months; it will go fast only if you enjoy your time here.
2 comments:
Yeah that's good advice and all, but keep in mind that not all stares are friendly. Not all stares and comments are nice, and not all the people are so nice in return. For those of us who have been physically assaulted in our communities by "overly" curious people, that is when other PCVs need to wake up and realize that saying hi to everyone can send the wrong message sometimes. Smiling at everyone can also make us younger women appear to be flirting and asking for trouble. There are two sides to every coin. You've been lucky so far.
AAs there are a limited number of Asian American volunteers who have recently moved sites, I can guess that I am the individual addressed in this blog. I would like to clarify that while I did get a lot of harassment on racial and gendered grounds (almost on a daily basis) I ultimately chose to move sites becuase of surviving a physical assault in my community. The choice was mine, Peace Corps did not choose to move me. While verbal harassment is common in this country, attempted rape is not. I would also like to note that the indivudal who committed the assault was someone who I had bought produce from and had conversed with at site. However, for trainees and volunteers who are minorities or vulnerable to harassment, know that oftentimes lewd comments, noises, and gestures are made worse if noted. Everyone has a different way of coping with issues of harassment and we are all in some way or another minorities--that is part of what it means to be a PCV. I think that the best that one can do is to be careful but not cruel. We are ambassadors, performing grassroots diplomacy everyday but this does not mean that we should loose site of our own saftey and well being.
Post a Comment