My Retirement Years - Why Hate?

Recently a “I hate that person” Facebook posting within my Facebook community creates 
quite a stir.  A famous young singer is disliked by one of my Facebook friends.  His harsh comments made toward her, especially using the word “hate” surprises me.   

Hate is a strong word; to hate someone, one must have a strong feeling towards that person.  Family members do not get along, co-workers disagree on projects, husband and wife have heated quarrels, all can create a very unpleasant experience and eventually end up hating each other, that I can understand.  Hating a stranger whom you never meet, never have a relationship, and never even exchange a conversation, I question from where that hatred comes?  There is old Chinese saying, “hate is the oppositive of love, someone you ended up in hating must be someone you once loved so deeply”. 

Nowadays, you can read so much criticism towards Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle.  Many people HATE the couple.  The volume of dreadful postings trashing them on the internet startles me.  Some people even devote their entire career to write assaulting messages about the couple!  I am not a fan of Prince Harry and his wife. I may be bothered by their ignorance and disrespectful of the ancient British royal cultures and rules that were established and formed for reasons that are beyond their comprehension, but I certainly do not hate them!   Their choice of living is none of my concerns.  Afterall, why should we get upset over someone whom you are not related to, don’t care about or love?     As for my Facebook friend, I think what he really wanted to say was: he dislikes that person.  The word “hate” is not a true reflection of his actual emotion.  To dislike someone is probable.  It simply means disagreeing with them on certain issues, which is totally acceptable.

When we become intensely critical of a stranger, unconsciously, a negative mental and physical emotion inside you is ignited.    

“Don’t hate anyone for it kills your happiness.”

We should focus on something is more productive, someone means something to you.  How a stranger chooses to live his/her life is really nobody’s business.

 

 My Retirement Years - Traditional Chinese Courtyard

One trip to China, I encountered an aged but charming Chinese home.  The house is about 500-700 years old, it once belonged to a wealthy merchant.  The entranceway is flanked by two fearsome guardian stone lions: a male and a female. The male has his mouth open and a female with her protective paw places upon a cub.  It is believed that the male guards the home itself, and the female protects the inhabitants.  She represents the power of life.

An impressive heavy wooden door is painted with the customary crimson color.  Two corroded pull doorknobs resembled the head of a mythical creature gives impression that once upon a time, this home belonged to a prominent family.   I push the half-open door and right away, I am captivated by the unpretentious beauty of its courtyard.  Inside, flowering plum and peach blossom paint the garden with spring color. There are jasmine, petunia, and lupine flowers everywhere.  A graceful banyan tree stands tall in the middle of the garden, filters out some of the bright afternoon sun. The foliage of giant banana leaf moves about so elegantly in the breeze.  By the corner, a few wooden water buckets and a half-torn rope scatter around an ancient water well.  Years of neglect, algae and a few wild purple flowers are growing on the edge of the well. Peer into the well, I can see crystal-clear underground water mirroring the blue sky above.  

At the other side of the courtyard sits an empty rain barrel.  In the old times, the container was used to store water for daily use.   Some were used to nurture water lilies with a few goldfish swimming around.  A narrow path cuts through a round entrance, which frames a picture of what is behind.   I stare at the courtyard and can nearly hear children’s play and laughter, servants moving about to perform errands and a sweet melody playing by a beautiful young lady……..

Once upon a time, this idyllic home must be a nice place to live, to grow up and to retire.  The loveliness of the garden is palpable.

 My Retirement Years

The Magic of Ordinary Days

It is the end of 2023.  Every year of this time, I like to reread an essay I wrote when I returned from the Peace Corps.  The experience of Peace Corps changed my life, my attitude towards life.  Here is what I wrote:

The time I spent in Azerbaijan, without a doubt has a greater impact on me than on the people whom I was trying to help. How much I have changed since I set foot in this “underdeveloped” country. I know I can tolerate a much higher degree of discomfort.  No regular running water, unreliable supply of gas and electricity, even a cold shower in the winter, it is not the end of the world. Having lived with people with so little material provisions, now I can go home and be happy to live simply. I don’t need a high paying job; I can survive with less income. I don’t have to live in a luxury two-bed room condo. I can be just happy to live in a cozy studio. I don’t have to drink Starbuck coffee, eat imported cheese, and indulge myself with expensive wine. I don’t need fancy jewels or designer clothing to look good. I don’t have to compete with colleagues and friends. I don’t have to rush going from point A to point B.

I will return to New York with a much lighter spirit. Three most valuable lessons I learned from my Peace Corps experience: be patient, be flexible, and always have a sense of humor. I have grown to love life with a different attitude, I become more sensible and understanding, learn to listen more, have less self-pity, care more about my community, friends and family, recognize there are many people in the world with real problems, be more supportive with their needs rather than constantly complain about my own problems. Life in Azerbaijan has made a profound difference in me. As my Peace Crops journey comes to an end, and soon there will be more new faces (the AZ9) coming to Azerbaijan in October. I wish them well and my advice to them is a quote from Paul Theroux:

“…don’t make a mistake in thinking that you will make an important difference in the lives of the people you are among. The profound difference will be in you”.

Now I have retired, my days are nothing but ordinary, but they have magic.  Be content, be kind to others, give more and expect nothing to return, stop complaining and start living. 

 My Retirement Years

Come out from Retirement

Since I retired three months ago, I have received calls, text messages and emails asking me questions about my old job, or worse, returning to work part time or as a full-time consultant.  My first reaction was: feeling flatter.   Many of my co-workers, manager, and even upper management still respect my accounting skill, trust my judgement, and appreciate the quality of my work.  However, after that feeling subsided, my intuition urged me to say “no”. 

Life goes through stages, and we ought to give ourselves the opportunity to experience different phase of our life.    When it is time to retire, I did not hesitate to take that big step.  Returning to work, either part time or full time, is denying myself to experience that stage of my life.  Afterall, I love being retired.  Having time to do what I enjoy (drawings, hiking, camping, and backpacking) or having time to do nothing at all is wonderful. 

The ten years with the Smithsonian, I had made many recognizable contributions to the organization.  Many difficult projects, new assignments and impossible jobs were given to me, not because I was willing to do it, but because I was trusted by my manager to complete those assignments timely and professionally.  Once the assignment was given to me, I put 120% of my effort into finishing it.  As a result, I have gained and cumulated notably accounting and financial knowledge of the Smithsonian, far more than most accountants, managers, and directors both inside and outside of the department.

After years being relied upon, some people feel uncomfortable without me being around, including upper management.    However, no one is irreplaceable.  If I can do it, so can others.   The only requirement is a good work ethic, put extra effort to solve problems, instead of getting answers from me, research and find answers yourselves!

 My Retirement Years

Retirement

Two weeks into my retirement, and that is how I feel….

Retirement allows me to ponder the past, to remember family members who once occupied my life but quietly and unconsciously slipped away. Retirement is also time to relive moments that once pained or elated my heart. Retirement lets me rekindle some of my impossible dreams, Retirement is the time to toss a long life of collecting, what once was necessary no long needs to consume my time.  

Hour by hour I sit and muse
in what way my brain to use.
Shall I write or shall I read
for such effort is there need

I think on this and think on that,
some thoughts come easily as pat,
others cause my brain to shun
from anything that isn’t fun.

Retirement. A perpetual rest?
I’ve never known a harder test!
I’ve never been inclined to shirk,
but doing nothing’s such hard work.

I’m sure it’s true, some OAPs  (“Old age pensioner”)
know how it’s best to enjoy ease.
I wish that I was one of those
able to sit, relax and doze.

By Kate Beamish

 As a retiree, I find I am busier than ever! 

Retirement is time to reflect, to live again, to be productive and creative. Retirement is all about “you”.  Enjoy it!

 

 My Retirement Years

Feb 28, 2022

Years ago, when I was longing for retirement, I wrote about this distant dream:

My earnest ambition is to finish my “autobiography” (Book one - Life with Peace Corps). Once I accomplish, I shall retire to a small cabin in the woods, or a quiet canyon in the Utah desert.  That little cabin will have minimum necessitates, but it must face East to capture all the morning sun.  It must be surrounded by a nature garden with aspen, cottonwood, redbuds, boxelder, wild rose and cactus. I do not need running water so long as I have a spring, a small creek or a well from which I can draw water for daily use.  I do not need air conditioning.  Summer, the mountain breeze will keep me cool.  The leaves from the aspen tree, furs or willows will shelter me from hot sun.  Winter, I burn woods to keep warm.  Its orange hue allows me to read and write.   

 On a clear spring day, I carry my backpack, walk through valleys, pick wildflowers, or climb up to a mountain top, lie down on the green mountain slope and bath under the warm sun.  On a hot summer day, I go down to a canyon floor, find a nice cottonwood tree and relax beneath its canopy, gaze out to the blue sky, watch drifting clouds, and fall asleep to the sound of a murmuring spring. 

Now I re-read it and am happy that the “autobiography” is in place, and my retirement time finally arrives.  The description of my chosen retirement place may change slightly, but the general ideal is still the same.  I WANT A PEACEFUL RETREATING LIFE. 

Life goes through stages, and I am happy moving on to the next stage of my life and starting a new chapter with my retirement.  Like Book One, Book Two depicts this special period of my living, another humble journey.

Here is my retirement begins.

 

Aging

October 26, 2020

Have my annual physical, and the nurse asks me to rate my stress level.  I ponder a few seconds and respond with a smile: zero.  She laughs and understandably agrees with me and says: “you exercise so much and it does create some kind of positive energy in your brain, good for you!”.

But she is only partially correct.  I think age has something to do with it too.  Some people fear or even hate aging, I EMBRACE it.  When you are young, you have so many ridiculous dreams and ambitions, not that you should not have them, but they come with a price: STRESS.  Relationship, of course is another one that causes so much distress.  They, nonetheless, are part of growing up, part of life.

When you get to certain age, have experienced so much, gone through life with the pain, the joy, the disappointment, the excitement, the elation, the frustration, and the sorrow, either you remember and accept them with grace and dignity, or bear them in mind with regret and grief.  It is all about attitude.

There is an old Chinese saying: 無怨無悔也是人生一種美

Meaning: when you go through life with no complaint and regret, it is comforting and another kind of beauty in life.

Coronavirus

March 23, 2020

The deadly COVID-19 did not stop cherry blossom lovers from crowding the park.  The authority eventually has to close some metro stations and park entrance.  You can, however still watch the display from afar or choose to walk to certain area of the park.

I moved to DC in 2012, and as I remember, not even once I went down to join the crowds.  To tell the truth, I hate it.  You cannot take one photo without including a stranger in it.  There are many cherry trees in DC and VA.  As a matter of fact, down by my apartment complex, there are cherry, apple, peach and pear trees, all yield pink, white and red flowers.  If I walk 16 miles by the Four Mile Run River, I can see the most beautiful cherry tree display by Highway I-66.  But the problem is, no one wants to lift their legs, not even a couple miles to catch the glory once a year.  So because of the inconvenience, most people stop coming to the park. GOOD!  They don’t deserve to be there anyway.

Someone once said, we lost our legs after the car was invented. Years ago, I spent one Christmas with a college roommate.  Her family is rich and has many cars.  One day, her mother asked her to pick up mails from the mailbox which was only a minute’s walk down the hill.  But guess what, she took her car and drove down to the hill and collected the mails. Her mother gave her a smile with an approval.   I was speechless.

COVID-19 is not a deadly virus.  For a healthy adult, it is nothing more than a flu. Most people can survive from it.  Your natural immune system is capable of fighting off the virus.  But another problem is, there are not many folks wants to be healthy nowadays because it is too much work.

I once watched a TV reality show and an overweighted young girl was in tears telling the world that she was happy for what she was.  She loved to eat, especially junk foods, fatty foods, foods other than green she admitted.  “Fat can be beautiful too!” She said it with such a noble attitude and the audience cheered.  I took a deep breath and said nothing to people around me.  The world is changing and I don’t like it a bit.

It is not the virus killing us, it is us killing us!

Self Respect

February 29, 2020 

Harvey Weinstein sexual abuse case is over.  He is convicted of committing a criminal sex act in the first degree and rape in the third degree, but he is acquitted of the more serious charges of predatory sexual assault and one count of first-degree rape.  He is sentenced to 25 years behind bar.  Most likely he will die in prison, either is bitten to death by inmates or die of old age. He deserves the punishment.

Harvey Weinstein is a despicable man, , but he is not unique. This individual exists everywhere.   I even recognize him in history, thousand years ago.  He is timeless!   Harvey Weinstein is a popular character although not a likable one.  Some people, instead of distance themselves from him, choose to socialize with him, of course, for selfish reasons; money and fame.

The two women accusers of Harvey Weinstein are no exception.  Their decision to tolerate Weinstein’s abuses for years baffle many people, even the jurors.  Their friendly e-mails exchanges were the strongest defense used by Weinstein’s legal team.    Should these women be held accountable for their own action, or lack of?  Are they entirely innocent?

Harvey Weinstein has no power over anyone. When the two women succumbed their will to fight against this evil man and endured his unpardonable sins,  continued to put up with his sexual demands.  The message they sent to Harvey Weinstein was clear.  It convinced him that what he did was not wrong.  He was given the permission to go on with his demands.   For him, it was nothing more than just a business transaction, both parties were making deals, one gave, and one received.  At the end, like to a joint-venture or investment in the stock market, no one is promised with a gain.  For the accusers, they not only lost money and fame, they also lost their own “self”.

   

I will never sell my soul and body to anyone even I have to work in McDonald to make a living.  It all comes down to “self-respect”.   

 

Doing the Right Thing!

January 3, 2020

“Ethical behavior is doing the right thing when no one else is watching – even when doing the wrong thing is legal” Aldo Leopoldo.

First time I read it, I was impressed.  Ever since, I value this principle, apply it to my daily life.  I also place this moral standard upon my friends, my co-workers, my family members and even a stranger.  Rich or poor, educated or uneducated, politician or artist, emperor or common people, ethical behavior must live in everyone’s mind and soul.  It differentiates us from beast, so we do not steal, cheat, lie, and are unkind to others.

Do the right thing should be our instinct, something with which we are born.  I remember my professor once said, “We ought to obey rules and do the right thing.  We may think laws and orders take away our freedom for they restrict what we can and cannot do.  For example, one may not cross a street when the red light is on.  If we follow laws and orders, one day, we will realize that what we conform to do becomes what we enjoy doing, what we ought to do turns to what we love doing.  That is when ultimate happiness is achieved.”  It sounded so profound and I could not fully comprehend it first, but it stays with me all these years.

No one should succumb oneself to unethical behavior.  Bad conduct, if it is not corrected and reprimanded, can create a toxic environment, deteriorate our heart and soul.  I once, risked my career to report to the authority of unethical conducts committed by a senior government official.  The process, although took years and I encountered numerous setbacks, I NEVER gave in.   At the end, justice was done.

I take no pleasure seeing anyone lose a job, but my determination to do the right thing restores victim’s hope that no one is above the laws.  If one commits a wrongful act, there are consequences, and in due course, he/she will be punished.   No one, certainly, is untouchable!

A Humble Emperor

November 27, 2019 

While Tang dynasty is considered the golden age in Chinese history, Song dynasty, nevertheless is my personal favorite.   It inherited the wealth from the Tang dynasty and continued to blossom.  Social life during the Song was vibrant.  Technology, science, philosophy, mathematics, and engineering flourished over the course of the Song.  Literature and arts were at their peak.  Many famous Chinese landscape and portrait paintings were created during that periods.  Poetry and calligraphy also profited from the rising popularity. But what intrigues me is a story of a special ruler.

He was not born to be King, but he was chosen by the aging emperor to be his heir mainly because his characters: honesty, kindness, and prudence.  He had a humble background.  Growing up in a peasant family, he understood the importance of foods.  Common people did not care who ruled the country, so long as they could live in a peaceful environment, have a healthy and happy family and never needed to worry about putting foods on table, that was enough.  Wars, poverty, nature disasters were their biggest fear.  This ruler recognized that. 

He enjoyed working on a field.  As a young boy, he often worked on his family rice paddy. During the harvest season, the air of his family’s farm was permeated with the sweet fragrance of ripen grains.  After he became the emperor of Song, he lived inside the concrete walls of his Palace.  He missed the aromas of a farm, the heaven that once provided him with so much reassurance and satisfactory.  He ordered a construction of little rice paddy inside his living quarter. 

When he was not occupied by political affairs or busy with his many wives and concubines, he retreated to his quarter and worked on the “farm”.  He rolled up his “dragon” emperor robe, took off his golden shoes and stepped on the muddy rice field bared foot.    When the grains were ripened, he picked a bundle, crushed the grains on his hand, cupped the little kernels under his nose.   Then his eyes closed, his face began to relax, a smile appeared and he turned to the sky and said: “I have the world!”.

A Narrow Box Canyon

June 22, 2018

We are exhausted after the hike.  Later afternoon, we reach the Colorado River and find a little sandy beach with room just big enough to set our camp.  A creek comes down through a side canyon provides us with cooking and drinking water.  A handsome cottonwood tree gives shelter for the group.  I find a private corner away from the group, set my tent and head to the water.  The temperature of the Colorado River is notoriously cold.  Even with a 100 degrees air temperature, the water never reached above 60 degrees.  I do my wash quickly and hang them on tree branches.  Even at home, I favor hanging my clothes outdoors rather than drying them in dryer.  It is so natural, so environmentally appropriate.  My tent nests underneath the cottonwood tree and is well protected by its branches.  With my laundries spreading around my tent, it looks really cozy and homey.  Coming to the wilderness always gives me the feeling of returning home.

Our leader collects some driftwood to build a campfire.  We cook our dinner and soon darkness is upon us.  Overhead, a patch of stars begins to appear on a velvet sky, the rustling sound of the cottonwood leaf is very soothing.  The early autumn breeze has softened the canyon heat, but we still feel the warmth, our sleeping bag will not be needed tonight.  Some members of our group already talk about camping in the open and sleep under the stars.  We eat our supper around the campfire.  After the pots and pans are put away, we each retrieve to our tent, read, write, sleep or dream. 

Next morning, we explore the side canyon.  That beautiful creek flows out from it has crystal clear water.  I cup a mouthful to taste, refreshingly cool and sweet, better than any beer!  My eyes follow the creek to the canyon’s narrow opening; a young box elder invites us in.   About two hundred yards from the entrance, we discover the ruins of two and three rooms.  In one room, we find an old grinding stone, as smooth as a baby’s bottom.  It is ever a source of wonder to me why these ancient people sought such inaccessible places for their homes, why chose to imprison themselves within these canyon walls. Along the creek, there are springs gushing out from the walls from both sides.  Sometimes a red bud tree grows over the creek.  We come to a dry fall of more than 50 feet.  We find a trail going up to the fall.  Still going up, the canyon narrows ever more, being about 15- feet wide, yet the walls rise on both sides many hundreds of feet, perhaps thousands, I can hardly tell.

The canyon deepens; the air is chill and moist.  We reach to the point we can go no farther.  It is a box canyon.  A huge dry fall stands upon us.  Its vertical wall must be a few hundred feet tall.  At the bottom of the fall is a still pool with dark emerald water.  Around the pool are beautiful maidenhair fern and other delicate foliage.  Few monkey flowers just begin to bloom.  Its crimson buds are as red as a princess’s lips.  All these vegetation gives the box canyon a great beauty.  This little side canyon is truly a delight to walk on.  However, we have little time to spend in admiration.  Time to head back camp.

It is our last day camping by the Colorado.  I watch the river rolls by in silent majesty; the quiet of the camp is sweet, our time spending here is a delight!  I watch the night sky long after midnight thinking of my next desert trip, thinking of many future Grand Canyon excursions with SC, how fortunate I am to have the strength and the mean to pursuit my canyon dreams.   

 

Life After Peace Corps -
  Olive Tree

 

 

September 18, 2018

I found two Oliver trees in Shirlington, Virginia by the river bank of the Four Mile Run.  Someone intentionally planted them there long time ago to memorize an event, I suppose, for finding an olive tree in Virginia is rare.  Early September, the fruits begin to ripen and they bring me back to the time when I lived in Sumgayit, a small village where I served the Peace Corps in Azerbaijan.  The olive trees are everywhere.  By end of summer, all the olives turn black and ready to be harvested. 

 

Picking olive is a family event.  Grandmother lays a big piece of cloth underneath the tree, the youngsters climb up to the highest branch to pluck the darkest ones, Ana (mother) uses an aged wooden stark banging on the tree trunk, in no time, all the shinning black and green olives hitting the ground where grandmother and little girls are eager to collect them.  Grandfather is the oldest member of the family, he does not do much, just looks up to the tree with his hands behind his back, watches his grandchildren laughing and picking the fruits.  Occasionally, he guides his grandchildren to find the biggest ones.  When his grandson hands him a handful, he smiles with an appreciative nod.    One late autumn day, I walked home and found an old man collecting a few olives left on the ground.  I picked up a big one and handed it to him, he gave me a big smile with a “sağolun” and I said “Dəyməz”. 

 

 

Nowadays, I can only remember a few Azerbaijanis, most have already been forgotten.  But the time I spent there, the life I lived, the ancient cultures I witnessed, and the people I encountered, still live deep inside my heart.  The Morning Prayer I contemplated every dawn, still haunts me, still lingers in my head…..

 

 

 

Ku Fu Tea

Ku Fu Tea

 

Growing up, watched my father and uncle to prepare the “Ku Fu” tea with elaborated ceremonial procedures.  First, cleaned the drinking utensils, heated the cups warm to touch, drained the tealeaf three times, boiled the water to the right temperature and poured the steaming water quickly to the tealeaf.  Sat and waited for a minute or so, gingerly picked up the teapot, tilled it to a right angle and poured the tea slowly and steadily to a tiny drinking cup. 

 

What came out is this golden liquid with a light but pleasant fragrant.  I watched my father sipped the tea, kept it inside his month for a few seconds, put down his teacup, swallowed the tea and let out an appreciative sound.  For a young child, this seemingly painstaking process is an amazement and puzzlement.  I observed intensely how the whole saga repeated itself.  I once asked my father to let me taste the tea, it was so bitter than I never asked for a second. 

 Now, whenever I have time, I perform the same ritual with enjoyment.  Remember my aging father, passed away uncle, my culture, my roots……I have finally grown up to value things that matter to me and dear to my heart.

 

Old Adventure Books

 Browsing through my Blog, I am thrilled to re-read some of my old writings.  They are not the perfect essays, but they honestly and happily chronicled my life from year 2009 to 2012 when I was living in central Asia.  Since I moved back to the States, my daily life is cluttered with monotonous events.   Hardly could I find time to relax, to contemplate, to take walk and more importantly to read and to write.  What I miss the most is to indulge myself in adventure stories of faraway places.  I could easily spend hours on an old adventure book and be happy.  Back in old days, unspoiled wilderness was still possible to find.   Hi-Tec, hiking and backpacking equipment did not exist, and explorers had to rely on their skills to reach remoted places.  Their incredible adventure stories were full of excitements, hardships and wonders, they were real escapade and not fabricated travelling tale.   

 Maybe that is why I love backpacking.  Only through hardship one can see untamed beauty.

Oh Tiger Woods

November, 2017

 

I have recently seen Tiger Woods’ mugshot on internet and what a shame!  This man used to have everything, money, fame, beautiful wife, cut kids, and caring parents.  Overnight, they disappeared.  He lost his greatness in golf, his wife divorced him, his health deteriorated, and the saddest part is, he could not pick himself up and take full responsibilities of what he did. He turned to drugs, heavy drinking, isolation, loneliness and self-pity.  To err is human.  We all go through life with periods of difficulty.  We are allowed to grieve, to get mad, to be depressed and even to do stupid things.  Nevertheless, once we let them out of our system, time to move on.

 A recent article published in ESPN.com suggested that “Tiger is facing the reckoning that all young and powerful men face, the end of that youth and power, and a future spent figuring out how those things might be mourned and possibly replaced”.  I disagree.  Tiger Woods is not old! He is only 41.  For a man it is just the beginning of life.  We have an old Chinese saying, “Man at his 40s, is like a flower just started to boom, whereas Woman at her 40s, is like a used tea bag, no more value”.  In theory, Tiger is at his peak.  Can he be a great golfer again, can he build a new family with another woman for a second time, can he be a good father once again to his children, can he regain his health, and importantly, can he be a Tiger Woods again?  If there is will, there is a way.  People do not say that because it sounds good, but because it is the absolute true!  

 People today still trying to figure out the causes of his failures. They even put the blame on Tiger’s father Earl.  At Tiger’s younger age, his father may have some influence on him, but once he reached adulthood, he was on his own.  So stop the blaming game.  Personally, I think money and fame have something to do with it.  When a person has too much money or fame, it is not a good thing.  Money can provide and can destroy as well.   Fame, is about power, too much of the power means obsession, life can get so complicated when you have both.  If I were Tiger Woods, I would disappear, forget his trouble for a moment and turn his focus to others, perhaps travel to faraway places where no one knows who he is. Return his life to basic and see how simple people live.  Maybe he will discover why the poor people manage to survive with so little, but they are happy.  Why a penniless climber is elated when he reaches a peak? Why a retiree is content watching sunrise and sunset every day.  Why a little boy enjoys catching fish in a creek and why a woman cries with joy when she sees her new born.  Those are things that Tiger Woods never had a chance to experience.   

 

Maybe he will find happiness again by living as Eldrick Tont Woods (he real name), instead of the famous Tiger Woods, even just one day.

 

Promise

Promise

July 25, 2017

 

Webster Dictionary defines promise as “a declaration that one will do or refrain from doing something specified”.  Chinese symbols for promise is:

 

The 1^st character means “utmost sincere”, the 2^nd symbol means “word”.   Both words have a very commanding annotation: Integrity, which means consistency between thought and action.  Nothing upsets me more than receiving a false assurance and later it is broken with an irresponsible and shameless excuse.  Keeping one’s promises matter! Nobody should make promise that he/she does not intend to keep.  When getting to know someone, it is crucially important to watch for his or her consistency in words and deed.  To a healthy person, it is of paramount importance to “say what I mean, and mean what I say”.  Unfortunately, that is such a rare quality in today’s society.

I have a friend, the nicest person in the world, very friendly, very cheerful, and very accommodating.  He is a good father, a good husband, a good grandfather, and a good friend.  If you ask him for a favor, he will not hesitate to extend his helping hand.  However, when it is time for him to honor his pledge, he fails miserably with many poor excuses.  “My friend is visiting me, I cannot do it”, “I am sorry, my wife would not allow me to leave the house” or “Something just comes up, I need to cancel our plan”.    In other words, he has better options, he changes his mind and that is that! He breaks his promises so lightly that he does not even feel badly of breaking it.  His apology habitually comes with a charming smile, which irritates me even more.    Making plan with him is the most frustrating thing.  

Many who break promises want to be liked. They view being liked as the most important thing. They make a promise because they want your approval, your high regard or your respect.   They are not worried about tomorrow. They only care how it goes right now. If the interaction with you goes well, then their job is done – for now, which is all that matters.

I was bought up to be a dutiful daughter to my family, a reliable person to my friends, and an honest citizen to my country.  I perform and fulfil those promises every day.  Even when I have a 103-degree temperature, I still pick myself up to attend a meeting that everyone is expecting me.  Integrity is for yourself. Yes, others benefit from your having integrity, but the basic reason you strive for consistency in words/ideas and practice is for yourself. Without integrity, you will never feel a sense of serenity. The degree to which you lack integrity is the degree to which you become at odds with reality.

Work on integrity within yourself. That way, you will expect the same from others, and you will not settle for anything less. Raise the bar on yourself, and you are much more likely to attract the right people and drive away the wrong ones. Today, I no longer associate with this friend for I truly believe my life is better off without him.

In Due Course

In DUE COURSE
May 12, 2017

I never a fan of politicians.  They all start as an ordinary people like us, but once they become a congressman, senator or political leader, everything changes.  First it is the money.  Overnight, their source of income expands; their bank account receives untraced wire transfers.  After a few years, they move to an upscale neighborhood.  Making lunch reservation at the Russian tearoom is no longer required.  A luxury hotel suit is made available to them with no cost.  Now, they fly 1^st class or receive offers from business billionaires to use their private jet for free. Their spouse, kids, relatives and in-laws benefit too.  Their children go to prestige Ivy League school even they clearly are not qualified.  After graduation, they receive outrages salary by doing odd jobs.   Their criminal relatives, in-laws and friends receive pardon even their sins are unpardonable.

 

 Once upon a time, these politicians loved to talk to church folks, university students, street vendors, blue-collar workers and housewives, volunteered their time to help grassroots organizations, and offered free speeches to inspire youngsters.  Today, they are busy playing golf with Wall Street CEOs, sailing with tycoons, wining and dining with foreigner diplomats.  If you ask them to support your charitable event, or to invite them to your fund raising gala, they expect something in return, percentage of your collected funds have to be “donated” to their private “charitable foundation”.   If you cannot afford them, no matter, plenty of Wall Street CEOs, and CFOs are willing to pay them large sum for making speeches, and of course, not for nothing.     The Clinton is such corrupted politician.

Over the years, I have watched the Clinton, both husband and wife, shifting their political views to whichever way the wind blew, lying about their lies to justify their more lies, betraying their friends for political gains, and worse of all, making fault promises to the Americans to gain their votes.  When they were caught, first they denied, then they blamed others, and if unsuccessful, their best defense was almost always the same, “right wing conspiracy”.  The night Hillary Clinton was defeated by Donald Trump, I was asleep.  When I heard the news in the morning, I could not believe that was real.  But it was more than real.   I was elated.      

I always believe that God, in due course, condemns mortals who are dishonest, evil and greedy.  In Clinton’s case, it took a long time, so long that everyone, including myself almost believed that the Clinton was God’s favorite children and they could get away with murder. But Clinton’s denunciation from God comes with a perfect moment.    I wish I could see Hillary’s face when she first realized her “glass ceiling” dream was shattered.  She will never be the 1^st female president of the United States.   As for Bill Clinton, his punishment will come someday, maybe worse than what his wife received.

It was a good feeling to see bad people get punished, to know God indeed is fair and has its plan.