My Life in Azerbaijan - Moon

December 28, 2009

It is a beautiful night, cold but nice. I climb up to the roof top of my host family’s chicken shed and watch the moon. The moon is nearly full, its radiant orange light illuminating the dark alley down below me. Except an occasionally muffling voice coming from the end of the alley, the night is quiet. The moon has been my closest friend for many years. Tonight, she is watching over me again, like many many nights when I was sad and lonely. Tonight, I am not sad, and I am not lonely either. But I am alone…

My Life in Azerbaijan - Tutor

December 26, 2009
Even after the training, Peace Corps wants us to keep on learning the local language. Especially for volunteers, as such me, who did not received “Intermediate Mid” level (I got Intermediate low) at the final examine should hire a tutor and continue our lessons. We are allowed to spend up to 40 AZN per month to hire a tutor. Today, I had my first lesson and for the 1st time, I enjoyed it.

My teacher is a young Azerbaijani man and he works full time as a translator. He speaks excellent English and the best thing is: he has patience. Having a private tutor, I receive 100% of my teacher’s attention. I raised questions that I was once afraid to ask. I make progress of my lesson at my own pace. At the end, I gained much more from the two hours session than I learned previously from the five hours class.

I am not expecting myself to speak fluently in Azerbaijani by the end of the two years service. However, I do believe that it is my duty, as a Peace Corps Volunteer, to master the language with the best of my ability. At the end, it helps me tremendously to gain the trust and respect of the people I serve. One more good thing about learning a new language, it slows down the aging of your brain! Anything anti-aging, I am for it!

My Life in Azerbaijan - Christmas Day

December 25, 2009


There is no Christmas here and I still have to go to work. This morning, I was awaked by some loud noise. My host father did not go to the farm this morning. Instead, he and other man was killing a cow in the back yard. It was awful. See the pictures, I know, we do this in America too, but I never saw it happen and I do not ever want to see it again!

My Life in Azeraijan - Missing my Life Back Home

December 21, 2009
Four more days will be Christmas, and I could not help but thinking about my apartment and friends back in New York. I just remember how lovely the park in front of my apartment was every year this time. All the trees were decorated with thousands and thousands of little white lights. Under the pale moonlight, the snow on the ground reflected a dazzling silver color. I often peered through my apartment window and enjoyed the quiet night with a cup of hot tea or read my favorite book the “Arabian Sands”. Oh! I do miss my life back home….. 

Most families here in Azerbaijan do not celebrate Christmas, but they do have Christmas tree. They decorate the tree not for Christmas but for New Year. My host sister explained to me how her family will celerate the upcoming holiday. First, they prepare lots of cookies, sweets and other Azerbaijani oily and unhealthy foods before the New Year. New Year day, their relatives come and visit. They sit, eat, talk, sleep, next day, eat again, talk more and sleep. Pretty much the same as we do in America, except some Americans will go to the gym afterward. Here in Azerbaijan, no one cares about gaining weight.

My host sister is excited that I will be around to meet all her relatives. Sometimes I do feel like I am her trophy, keep smiling to all her friends and relatives. A lot of times, she would ask me to sit in front of her friends and relatives and expected me to tell them about my life in America over and over again. At the beginning, it was ok, but lately, I find it quite tiring. To keep up with a smile and constantly being watched, I just want to hide myself inside my room and read my “Arabian Sands” for the seventh time….

I am going to miss next Christmas again, but the following year, I will be home for Christmas, of course with my loved ones and hopefully receive a big hug from “J”.

My life in Azerbaijan - Adventure to Baku

December 23, 2009
Today is holiday in Azerbaijan, so I take the opportunity to visit Peace Corps office in Baku. For the 1st time, I travel to Baku alone. My Azerbaijani is still very rustic, and my host sister does not think it is a good idea for me to travel alone in a big city. I explain to her, I grew up and lived my whole life in a city. I am not afraid to go anyway alone, PERIOD!

I have enough Azerbaijani vocabulary to travel.
- To Baku is Bakiye, bus station is: avtovagzal
- From Sumgayit is Sumgayitdan
- Get off is: dusmek Get on is: minmek
- To stop is: Saxlayin
Etc…..

First I take the minbus #14 to Baku bus station, then take bus #90 to Peace Corps office, simple as that. BUT, I do not know where to get off and do not know how to tell the driver where I am going either. I have the map with me but it is written English, so it does not help. No Problem, I call my teacher at the bus station in Baku and hand my phone to the driver. The driver gives me a smile and I just sit tight and wait for his sign. I arrive at the Peace Corps office safe and sound.

Azerbaijan people are very friendly and helpful. If you ask a question, someone will try their best to help you. The other day, I took a wrong bus and got lost somewhere (AGAIN!). A man overhead my question to a woman and he waved me to join him in his car. Of course, I would never get in a car with a stranger, so I just got the information from him and walked. He kept following me with his car to make sure that I would get to my street ok. Finally, I arrived at my street and said thank you, then he drove off.

I never felt unsafe here; Azerbaijan men have a very good manner. On the bus, I often see men offer their seats to women, elder people and children. If you ask them why they are so nice, they would respond with a strange look and say “by God, but why not, it is my duty!” See what I mean.

My Life in Azerbaijan - Horrible Living Condition

December 14, 2009
Yesterday, my host sister took me to visit her relatives and when we got to the area, I was totally shocked. The place reminded me of the broken and abandoned buildings in Harlem. From the outside, you would not imagine anyone living there. Maybe the homeless people will use it as a shelter. It was absolutely a horrible site. Inside the building, it was dark, wet and cold, like a prison. More accurately, it was like a dungeon. It was awful to know that there are actually people living in such a horrible, horrible condition.

To use the bathroom, I had to walk to the end of the building in the cold, entered into a dark alley, then another prison cell. I really did not want to stay there for long. That moment, I really wanted to leave and go back to the US.

I was sick, depressed and sad when I returned to my village.

My Life in Azerbaijan - Peace Corps is not a Paradise!

December 13, 2009
All my friends are gone now, and I am alone here in this town. Today, I went to the bazaar alone with a sad mood. A few street vendors from the bazaar said “salam” to me. They stopped me and told me that they saw me on TV. Their warm smile made me feel a little better. After all, I still have a few friends left in town. After the bazaar, I decided to walk home. The weather was cold but the sun was out, so the walk was very pleasant. It took me 1 ½ hours to get home, but I totally enjoyed the walk.

Starting Monday, I will be working for the bank three days a week, from 10:00am to 4:00pm. If the sun is out, I will walk home after work. I need this exercise. Peace Corps requires us to do some community service besides doing our daily work. My teacher introduced me to a lady who is involved with the orphanage. So while I am not working in the bank, I will visit those cute babies. One day a week, I also work for a clinic where poor people receive medical service. The organization needs an accountant, so I volunteer to help. Most of the doctors are European volunteers. It will be interesting to meet some of them. I hope by setting up daily and weekly routine, times will go faster.

Vivian called me last night and told me a bad news. Another Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV) decided to quit. He was in the Baku airport last night leaving for the US. Another PCV is also thinking to leave. Whatever the reason they decided to quit, I respect their choice but I disagreed with their action. They should have mentally prepared for the hardship. Lack of hot water, heat, foods and privacy, even not being assigned to the village they wanted, those are not the right reason to quit.

My Life in Azerbaijan - Azerbaijan Wedding

December 15, 2009
Last night, my host sister took me to an Azerbaijan wedding. Peace Corps encourages us to take part of our host family’s social events, so we can have a better understanding of the Azerbaijan culture. During the training, I hardly had anytime to enjoy myself. Now I have some free time at night, so I was gladly to accompany my host sister to the wedding party with her two male friends last night.

When we arrived at the reception hall by 6:00pm, people already started eating. There were at least 40 big tables inside with lots of foods, fruits and drinks. The music was very loud. As my sister led me to the table, everyone in the wedding was watching us. There were people actually never ever saw a Chinese before, especially the one from the American whom they saw on TV just a few night ago. During the night, I was constantly being watched, which made me feel very uncomfortable.

The wedding was similar to that of the US. Azerbaijan people love to dance, especially dance with the traditional Azerbaijan music. Whole night long, old and young, male and female were dancing with the loud music. Azerbaijan culture does not allow female dance with a male stranger; and male usually dances with male and female dances with female. It was very strange to see two males dance together.

As the night progress, our table got more and more visitors, especially male visitors. My host sister is a young attractive Azerbaijan girl and I am a non-Azerbaijan woman with a friendly smile. First, it was the male waiters, then the male relatives, the male friends, and at the end, the male strangers. I was not shy greeting them one by one and answering all their questions. As the night moved forward, our table was full of Azerbaijan men. I really did not mind them being there, just their cigarettes smoke that bothered me the most. By 9:00pm, I was ready to go, but my host sister and friends insisted that I should stay until the Azerbaijan National Meal; the “Plov” was served. The “Plov” was just rice with some dried fruits, served with meats. I think I like my Chinese fried rice better. 

Finally, the modern rock music was playing and we danced into the night. By the time I got home, I was tired. I have not had so much fun for a long time since I left the US and “J”.

My Life in Azerbaijan - Swear in Ceremony

December 9, 2009
Today is our Swear in Ceremony; we officially become the Peace Corps Volunteers. I did not think that I would cry, but I did and so did most of my Peace Corps Trainees. When the American National Anthem was playing, we all got very emotional. For the first time, I deeply feel that I am an American. I represent the People of the United States of American.

Standing next to me is the US Embassy Deputy Chief of Mission Mr. Donald Lu, yes he is Chinese too. The lady is our Country Director Meredith Dalton. When I went up to the podium and received my certificate from Mr. Lu, I was proud, very proud! I have reached another turning point of my life and I have achieved what most of my friends back home never dreamed of. The pain and suffer I endured these past two months were completely forgotten. I knew there is no where else in the world I would rather be than staying here serving the people of Azerbaijan.

Our ceremony was broadcasted on every channel in Azerbaijan TV that night. My host family who attended my ceremony was so excited when they saw me on TV. My seat was in the front roll and I got most of the exposure. Instantly, everyone in our town knew about this little “Cin” from American.

My Life in Azerbaijan - My sister in HongKong

December 6, 2009
My older sister called me from HongKong this morning and I was very happy to hear from her. After I told her that I need some warm clothing, immediately she sent me 2 packages. The mail is not cheap, and she already spent over US$100 just to mail me the two packages. I am very grateful to have my older sister to look after me. Without her support, I would have never been able to join the Peace Corps.

When we were young, my sister and I were always together. People sometimes had mistaken us as a twin. I was born with a bad temper. Many times, when we fought, she often gave up and let me win. Sometimes I even made her cry…and I regret it deeply every time when I recall those moments. I wish she would hit me, do anything to punish me, but she never, just did not say a word and left me alone. It made me feel so guilty afterward.

As we are older now, I try my best me not to lose my temper with her. Even when she was wrong, I just kept my month shut. I often pray for her, I ask God to take good care of her. In exchange, I will give up anything God wants, even my life…. And I mean it too.

My Life in Azerbaijan - My Hero Viviandir

December 6, 2009

Viviandir is the name I gave Vivian. “dir” in Azerbaijani means “is”. I just like to call her that, it also sounds like Vivian dear too. Vivian is really a tough lady even she cries all the time. These past few weeks, she managed to survive with no gas and showers. She told me her host family was out of gas for several days, and they only used the electric heater to do all the cooking and tea making. The mother would put the potatoes on top of the heater in the morning, so they would be cooked by the time the family had super. As for the tea, they would put the tea pot on top of the heater all day long. I still do not understand how they cooked the egg breakfast for Vivian in the morning.

No gas, means no shower, not even hot water to wash her face, but Vivian did not complain. Instead she made some jokes about her appearance. After losing so much weight, Vivian looked much younger and healthier compared to two months ago when I first saw her. I told her to color her hair and she would look even more desirable. I think Vivian is beautiful, inside and outside. Her family and friends back home should be proud of her. Vivian is a true survivor!

Vivian Dir, is a my Vivian Dear!

My Life in Azerbaijan - Meeting the Vice Chairman of My Bank in Baku

December 3, 2009
Today, my CED manager took me and four other volunteers to Baku. The purpose of this 2nd visit to the capital is to see the bank which I will be working for the next two years. I was a bit nervous because I would be meeting my counter party and he is the Vice Chairman of the bank. He is the person I will be dealing with and reporting to. I put on my best outfit (still with some wrinkles due to the traveling) and prepared some good questions the night before. I want him to like me, to be impressed by me and most of all, to have confident in me.

We arrived at the “Wall Street” area of Baku, the place remained me the 5th avenue of New York. As soon as we sat in the conference room, I felt like at AXA’s (the form company I worked for) “football” conference room again. After all, I had spent many days in the United States, having similar meeting in a big conference room like this one. I have to admit, I am comfortable with the corporate setting; even I hated that environment, especially the last three years working for QBE (the last company I worked for in the Wall Street area)

After a brief introduction of the current banking system in Azerbaijan, the Vice Chairman waited for our questions. During his presentation, I made lots of eyes contacts with him, trying my best to absorb the data and making notes on some interesting areas where I should raise my questions on. His presentation gave us lots of information about the current economy of Azerbaijan and especially how the bank operates in Azerbaijan. When he finished, I know I should not miss the opportunity to impress him so, I asked the first question, then the second, then the third and more…

Unlike my Peace Corp teammates, I was prepared. My questions mainly focused on his presentation but added a few inquires about my future responsibilities with them. I think he was pleased with my questions and I did get a few envious looks from my teammates. After all, 22 years working for some of the biggest international companies in the United States, I have built my confident. By the end of the meeting, I felt like I have scored on my 1st interview and just waited for the 2nd invitation to come. I left the office with a big smile, then all the sudden I remembered, HELLO! I am just a volunteer! What the head am I thinking! I do not need to impress this guy, he cannot fire me nor can he not to hire me! But, anyhow, I am still impressed with myself 

My Life in Azerbaijan - Final is Over

December 5, 2009
I cannot believe our final language examination is over. I think I did ok and the teacher even gave me a “role play” test. I leant that only those who showed the ability to carry a conversation would be given a “role play” test. I think I did ok too on the “role play” test.

Looking back two months ago, neither one of us could really speak a full sentence in Azerbaijani. Today, all of us in various degrees; are managed to get around with enough Azerbaijani vocabulary. We have proven to ourselves that we can survive in this foreign land. However, our next bigger test would be even tougher. When each of us is dispatched to our worksite, how are we going to survive without our teachers, without our Peace Corps friends? Some of us will be alone living in a small village with no one speaks a word of English. I worry about Andrew, the young man I become very fond of. He did not do well in the class, nor did he do well in his examination. But he is always cheerful; I hope he will stay alive by using his charm.

My Life in Azerbaijan - Goodbye to our Teacher

December 4, 2009
Today is our last language lesson, and our teacher cut the lesson short. She bought us cookies, drinks, and many snacks. We all love her and she has been a wonderful host representing Azerbaijan. Peace Corps did a good job hiring the most competence instructor for us. After today, she will return to her home or maybe leave for Turkey hoping to find a better job there. We all promise to pay her a visit if she decides to stay in Turkey. I told her, if she ever comes to New York City, she is definitely welcome to stay with me. I will return the same hospitability to her as she has given me here.

Only five more days left, then I will say goodbye to Vivian and other Peace Corps Volunteers. They will be leaving for their permanent sites and some of us may never see each other again. Two months together, we have built our friendship and Vivian and I are inseparable everyday. I really do not know what to do without her. I know I will be lost (literally) without her. Vivian was joking with me and told me that I could give her a call anytime, and she would give me an instruction how to find my way home… and then she cried AGAIN!

I went home, hide myself under my blanket and cried…