January 10, 2010
Tooday is the 1st anniversary of Baba’s (grandfather) death. It is a big thing for the Azerbaijan family. My
host family rents a place for this special event and 160 guests are expected to come. We have to cook for 160 people. Of course, I have to attend and help.
Last night, we went to the place and counted 160 plates, cups, China, forts, spoons and many miscellaneous utensils. My host mother told everyone that Chi would be responsible clearing all the dishes. Somehow, I always end up doing the family’s dishes!
We arrive at the place around 9:00am. All the women, (not men, Azeri man does not do any housework) begin to get busy. Some start the fire in the kitchen, some boil the water for tea, and some cut breads, vegetables etc, endless of preparation work. Around 10:00am, a woman (who is hired to cry) arrives and begins to cry! Nene sits next to this crying woman and also starts to cry. I am sure Nene’s tear is more real. One strange thing about the Azerbaijan culture, in the ceremony, men sit with men, women sit with women, men do not talk to women, women are not allowed to serve foods (but they are allowed to cook and clear); either to men or women. This is a big gender issue for me. There are a lot of other things that women are not allowed to do in this country. Women
are not allowed to go out at night, not allow to enter to a coffee shop, not allow to sit next to a man in the bus, not allowed to be seen in the public with a single man, not allowed to smoke, not allowed to drink outside of her home…..etc.
When the guests slowly arrive, I become my host family’s trophy again. “Chi, come meet my uncle, aunt, cousin, her neighbor, her mother-in-law, her friend…..”, “Chi is from America”, “Chi, come here, Chi, now, come here!” Then, they all stare at me and talk endlessly about me, right in front of me! Some people never see a foreigner before so their eyes just keep following me. They laugh when I drink tea, they giggle when I drop my spoon; they nearly have a heart attack when I begin to speak to my host sister with a language other than Azerbaijani. My host family and host sisters all enjoy all these attention but I am just so sick of it. SICK OF IT! I keep telling myself, I did this for Nene, only for nene..
I went through scene like this hundred of times since I arrived in Azerbaijan. I got so very tired of it already. When more guests arrive, I hide myself in the kitchen. “Chi, come here, come out of the kitchen and meet my cousin!” God, how much I hate this. A few times, I just ignore my host sister’s demand and keep washing my dishes. Right now washing 160*8 (my host mother insists on washing all the paper cups, I refuse!) dishes seem to be a better deal for me. My host sister gets very upset with me when I ignore her order. “The hell with you!” I say it loud in English, no one understands anyway. After a few tries, she finally gives up and leaves me alone. The following day, I wake up with a running nose, headache and a bad cold. After being touched and kissed so many times, I finally get the germs from some sick ladies!
I know I am different, I know I am American but with a “Ci” face, I know I am special. I know all that, but I am not a “monkey” or “alien”, I have two eyes, one mouth, two ears, and one noise, just like the rest of them. “Stay with us for 2 years Chi, why not?” My host sister often asked me this question. I think the answer is obvious.
Tooday is the 1st anniversary of Baba’s (grandfather) death. It is a big thing for the Azerbaijan family. My
host family rents a place for this special event and 160 guests are expected to come. We have to cook for 160 people. Of course, I have to attend and help.Last night, we went to the place and counted 160 plates, cups, China, forts, spoons and many miscellaneous utensils. My host mother told everyone that Chi would be responsible clearing all the dishes. Somehow, I always end up doing the family’s dishes!
We arrive at the place around 9:00am. All the women, (not men, Azeri man does not do any housework) begin to get busy. Some start the fire in the kitchen, some boil the water for tea, and some cut breads, vegetables etc, endless of preparation work. Around 10:00am, a woman (who is hired to cry) arrives and begins to cry! Nene sits next to this crying woman and also starts to cry. I am sure Nene’s tear is more real. One strange thing about the Azerbaijan culture, in the ceremony, men sit with men, women sit with women, men do not talk to women, women are not allowed to serve foods (but they are allowed to cook and clear); either to men or women. This is a big gender issue for me. There are a lot of other things that women are not allowed to do in this country. Women
are not allowed to go out at night, not allow to enter to a coffee shop, not allow to sit next to a man in the bus, not allowed to be seen in the public with a single man, not allowed to smoke, not allowed to drink outside of her home…..etc.When the guests slowly arrive, I become my host family’s trophy again. “Chi, come meet my uncle, aunt, cousin, her neighbor, her mother-in-law, her friend…..”, “Chi is from America”, “Chi, come here, Chi, now, come here!” Then, they all stare at me and talk endlessly about me, right in front of me! Some people never see a foreigner before so their eyes just keep following me. They laugh when I drink tea, they giggle when I drop my spoon; they nearly have a heart attack when I begin to speak to my host sister with a language other than Azerbaijani. My host family and host sisters all enjoy all these attention but I am just so sick of it. SICK OF IT! I keep telling myself, I did this for Nene, only for nene..
I went through scene like this hundred of times since I arrived in Azerbaijan. I got so very tired of it already. When more guests arrive, I hide myself in the kitchen. “Chi, come here, come out of the kitchen and meet my cousin!” God, how much I hate this. A few times, I just ignore my host sister’s demand and keep washing my dishes. Right now washing 160*8 (my host mother insists on washing all the paper cups, I refuse!) dishes seem to be a better deal for me. My host sister gets very upset with me when I ignore her order. “The hell with you!” I say it loud in English, no one understands anyway. After a few tries, she finally gives up and leaves me alone. The following day, I wake up with a running nose, headache and a bad cold. After being touched and kissed so many times, I finally get the germs from some sick ladies!
I know I am different, I know I am American but with a “Ci” face, I know I am special. I know all that, but I am not a “monkey” or “alien”, I have two eyes, one mouth, two ears, and one noise, just like the rest of them. “Stay with us for 2 years Chi, why not?” My host sister often asked me this question. I think the answer is obvious.
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