March 31, 2010
The staring never stopped, either in Sumqayit, the town I live or in Ganja, the city I visited. Everyone just kept watching me. I am beginning to accept that because I have three heads, six eyes, two mouths and a big pair of ugly ear, therefore, they have the reason to stare at me. I can tolerate the stare but when it accelerates to physical contact, I am frightened to death!
This morning on my way to the bus station, I received more than just stare from three teenage boys. They actually attacked me, sexually harassed me and they bought me into tears. The worse part is when I asked for help from some elder men; they just ignored me and thought it was “ok”
for what the teenage boys did. I am beginning to fear of my safety here.
It was about 9:30 this morning. I was on my way to the bus station to Baku. From my new apartment to the bus station is about 10 minutes’ walk. The street usually is quite busy, so I did not think of anyone would have the opportunity to harm me. I did not hear anything before it happened, I just felt my bottom was being hit hard, then a hand grasped it and then a big burst of laugh. Three teenage boys between 15-17 years old appeared in front of me. After the attack, they did not go away; they walked next to me and waited for my reaction. I was shocked first but when I realized what just happened, I was angry. I screamed so loud and hoped that someone would come and stop them. As soon as I screamed, these three dreadful human beings ran and disappeared to a distance. I could still see them. They did not run too far, still watching me. So I ran towards three elder men and showed them what the boys did to me. They looked at the boys and then signed me to go away.
I lost it, so I yelled at them and told them in Azeri “I am an American”, then in English “I am calling the police”. I picked up my cell phone and pretended that I was actually calling the police, so the teenage boys would not come back.
I began to shake; I was terrified and mad at the same time. I felt alone and helpless. Finally, sitting on the bus to Baku, I began to cry. I sent a text message to Peace Corps security officer. He called me back immediately and asked me to go to the Peace Corps office right away. I really did not know where else to go. I felt so dirty, my butt was very dirty, it needed to be cleaned, cleaned again and again….It sounds so crazy. I think only a woman can understand exactly how I felt that moment.
On my way back home, I panicked every time when I saw a group of teenage boys. I locked all my windows and doors as soon as I got home. I know the fear will not go away for a while.
20 more months to go, can I make it??
5 comments:
For what it is worth, I hope you stay and finish your service. I enjoy reading several Peace Corps blogs from peacecorpsjournals.com. Yours happens to be one of my favorite as your editorials are quite intriguing sometimes. I am sorry those boys did what they did, and I wish I could do something. However, please be aware you have readers that cheer you on!
Discuss with Peace Corps first before you decide on anything. They may have tips on preventive measures.
You may be traumatized so try to talk to other people as much as you can. Talk with your host family or co-workers or blog here more. The important thing is not letting the incident gets buried inside you. Let it out.
There is always light at end of tunnel. And enduring these incidents need not to be part of your experience.
-Jim
-Jim
Thank you for your concerns. I feel better now. One of the PCVs is staying with me for a few days, so I will be fine. Peace Corps is also coming to my apartment for an inspection to make sure that I live in a safe area. I am in good hand. Not to worry.
I will finish my term with Peace Corps regardless of what problem lies ahead. They donot call me “tough cookie” for nothing. I will be fine. Thanks again.
I was very sad to read your blog entry. I am very sorry that you had to have that expereince. However, I know that you have strength and courage to work through this. You would not have accepted the challenge to be a Peace Corp vlounteer if you did not have that inner strength. Best wishes to you!
Aw, Chi. I'm sorry this happened to you. I can certainly sympathize with you as this happened to me, too. Exactly. The slap and the grasp. It's a shame no one helped you afterwards. When it happened to me, I was received by a group of xanams when I got down the stairs after screaming and chasing the idiot. The thing that freaked me out the most was the person knew where I lived. I hope this doesn't happen to you again.
I punched through a window. I wouldn't suggest that for you unless you need it, but maybe throw some cheap plates to the road. Do whatever you need to get the anger out.
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