My Life in Azerbaijan - I Feel Great!

January 28, 2010
For the first time since I arrived in Azerbaijan, I feel great! It has been a terrible month for me. The flu, the accident, the trouble with my host sister and the cold weather, all these made me so depressed for the past few weeks, but today, I am really feeling wonderful.

Well, let me see why? First, today I received an e-mail from the Vice Chairman of the bank. “Chi, great job!” He is happy with my work. Second, my room is nice and warm since I got the antique heater from my host mother. Third, I received two packages in one week; one of them is from “J”. His package is the biggest and heaviest one so far, and forth, my sister sent me some Chinese DVDs, I have been watching them these past two days. Finally, when I looked at the mirror, I like the reflection of my face, it is healthy and glowing.

I think washing my face with the cold water helps. Every evening before I go to bed, I brush my teeth and wash my face with the icy cold water. There is no hot water in the bathroom. The gas runs low during the peak evening hour, so I have been cleaning and washing with the freezing cold water from the tap. At first, it was painful. Both my hands and face turned to red and stiff. After a few days, I get used to it. I even start to like the feeling on my face after the wash. Maybe my altitude has changed; I turned the negative to positive so my life seems to be getting better and easier each day. Actually this week went by so fast. Before I realize it, it is already Friday.

I do not know how long this good feeling will last, but I am going to keep my chin up. Two years can be a long time or it can be a short one. It really depends on how you spend the time. I am beginning to learn how to pass my time here with a cheerful spirit. I think these two years will fly by very fast.

MY Life in Azerbaijan - Packages from Home

January 26, 2010

As of today, I received total eight packages from my friends and family. Even Peace Corps noticed that Chi Chan has lots of mail lately. Peace Corps office is not happy about it, because each package costs them 1.2 AZN (US$1.5). Yes, even you already paid the postage, when your package gets to my town; I still have to pay more postage. The extra postage I pay does not go to the post office, but somewhere else. You will figure that out, I cannot say or write anything about it.

Anyway, I just want to thank you for taking the time, effort and money to shop, to pack, to pay and to mail me the package. Each box costs a fortune (at least US$58) just for the postage. So, friends, you are my dear dear pal, and I cannot thank you enough. When I go back to the States, I will take you all to dinner.

Tim & Joanne: I enjoy drinking the instant coffee every morning
Linda: my co-workers in the bank love the banana snacks
Sister: I enjoy watching the HK DVDs and the “ugly” sweaters keep me warm at night
Wade & Sunny: the dried vegetables and sweets are just great
HY & Su: the little packages are perfect
“J” – I smile the whole day seeing your package.

A friend in need is a friend in deed. You are my true true friends! Thanks a millions.

My Life in Azerbaijan - It is Snowing!

January 25, 2010
The town I live does not get snow often. According to my host sister, it only snowed 3 days last year. So, when it snows it is a big thing. I am not crazy about the snow or the winter here simply because it gets very cold. This week, snow finally arrived and my room was like an icebox.

Last night my host mother went into the chicken shed and found something to keep my room warm. Here it is! This thing probably is a thousand year old and is ugly, but it works. It keeps my room warm and dry. My town is next to the Caspian Sea, so in winter, not only it is cold but it is also very damp. Even on a sunny day, my laundries never got completely dried, so this “ancient thing” is really a good thing to have in my room.

I wish my host mother would put one in our toilet and one in the shower room. In Azerbaijan, toilet and shower rooms are built outside of the main house. (that is why they are called them the “outhouse”) I am lucky that my host family’s toilet is quite modern. It has a western toilet bowl, not the squat type, but no toilet seat (I never understood that!) The Azeri likes to keep their window open, even in the winter. So going to the toilet every night reminds me my camping trip in the Himalayas, cold, cold and cold! To avoid going out there at night in the dark with the freezing cold, I stop drinking tea around 9:00pm. As for the shower room, I have to let the hot water runs at least five minutes before getting any precious hot water. Often, in winter, there are “peak period” when every household is using the gas, so the hot water never got really hot. I made a mistake once to get up too late in the morning and ended up taking a cold shower. So, if I want to have a really hot shower in the winter, I have to get up before everyone.

These are just a few minor adjustments we, as Peace Corps Volunteers have to deal with. No big deal, summer is just around the corner, and I heard, it is extremely hot and humid!

My Life in Azerbaijan - Misfortune Never Come Single

January 19, 2010

After being sick for a week, this morning I was feeling pretty good and ready to go out and save the world again!

The vice chairman of the bank I report to wanted to meet me at the HQ in Baku. He wants to go over the financial reports of the bank with me. The bank’s driver was scheduled to pick me up 7:45am. I was very flattered so, I got up very early in the morning, did my routine washing and headed out to the door.

Outside, it was still very dark. Remember I mentioned before, there are no street lights any where in the town I live. I was a few minutes late so I half ran and half walked rushing to the meeting place. All the sudden, I felt my body flying forward, “bum!” I heard the sound of my head hitting the concrete floor. The next few seconds, I was scared, panic, and totally in shocked. I quickly picked myself up, looked around and found myself alone in the dark. I still did not know what just happened, but kept saying “Oh my god! my god!”. “Don’t panic Chi, don’t pass out, you are ok, calm down”.

I began to feel the pain on the right side of my head, so I first checked my right eye, and made sure I could see, then I turned my head slightly to be sure that I was actually alert and not hallucinating. Slowly, I regained my posture and remembered that I have to be somewhere. So, I started walking until I got to the place. The next few minutes, my head was playing that falling scene over and over again. I was still very confused, not knowing what actually just happened to me. I felt like to cry, but I held back my tears. “Be strong Chi, it will be OK soon”. On my way to Baku, I just sat in the car with a blank stare. The entire day, I had the most horrible self pity feeling in my stomach.

Next day, my eye was badly swollen, I found a few bruises on my leg and I also had a stiff neck, but other than that, I was fine. I went back to work again and passed the place I fell. A little dried blood still left on the spot where I had the fall. Right next to it was a tree root breaking out from the ground.

I must take a better care of myself. No one here watches over me. I guess that is what makes me feel so sad that day.

My Life in Azerbaijan - Sick at Last

January 16, 2010
I have been sick a few times since I arrived in Azerbaijan. I had stomach problems, and all of them were foods and water related. After a few doses of the “pink stuff” I was back to be my cheerful self again. This week, however, I was ill, seriously ill: running nose, bad headache, fatigued, diarrhea, and dried cough. I felt like being hit by a train. I used up all my tissues plus my host family’s napkins. (my host mother was not too happy, she asked my host sister to start cutting the napkins into small pieces) The medications Peace Corps doctor gave me did not work. They were pills from Turkey. Everyone knows that the medicine in Azerbaijan is only “vitamin”. It is part of the corruption in this country. People will do anything just to make some money. Peace Corps has two doctors, the one educated in the US was out on duty and I ended up with the one educated in Azerbaijan, so I got the Azerbaijan pills. 

I have been very careful, keep up with my exercise, wash my hands often, stay away from crowded area and take my daily long walk. I even got the flu shot from Peace Corps a month ago, but I still end up with the flu. I think I got it in the “Death Anniversary” party, 160 guests I greeted that day. My host sisters and I were both sick the same week, but my symptoms were worst than her. My host sister is always very kind to me. She made me some Azerbaijani remedies which were drinks from some sour dried fruits that her mother preserved. They did not work so well, but at least someone cared for me while I was sick. I thank her for that.

It is miserable to be alone and sick. No one will be there to give you medicine, to hand you a glass of water, to clean your mess (if any), to take your temperature, to remind you taking medicine, to cover you with a blanket, to comfort you. You sit in a dark room, wear the same cloths for a week, with greasy hair and running nose, tissues everywhere and wish for a bowl of hot soup. Get the picture?

It is sad to be sick and alone. I hope I do not have to go through this again. I will double my exercise when I feel better again….

My Life in Azerbaijan - Death Anniversary, another sad day for me!

January 10, 2010

Tooday is the 1st anniversary of Baba’s (grandfather) death. It is a big thing for the Azerbaijan family. My host family rents a place for this special event and 160 guests are expected to come. We have to cook for 160 people. Of course, I have to attend and help.

Last night, we went to the place and counted 160 plates, cups, China, forts, spoons and many miscellaneous utensils. My host mother told everyone that Chi would be responsible clearing all the dishes. Somehow, I always end up doing the family’s dishes! 

We arrive at the place around 9:00am. All the women, (not men, Azeri man does not do any housework) begin to get busy. Some start the fire in the kitchen, some boil the water for tea, and some cut breads, vegetables etc, endless of preparation work. Around 10:00am, a woman (who is hired to cry) arrives and begins to cry! Nene sits next to this crying woman and also starts to cry. I am sure Nene’s tear is more real. One strange thing about the Azerbaijan culture, in the ceremony, men sit with men, women sit with women, men do not talk to women, women are not allowed to serve foods (but they are allowed to cook and clear); either to men or women. This is a big gender issue for me. There are a lot of other things that women are not allowed to do in this country. Women are not allowed to go out at night, not allow to enter to a coffee shop, not allow to sit next to a man in the bus, not allowed to be seen in the public with a single man, not allowed to smoke, not allowed to drink outside of her home…..etc.

When the guests slowly arrive, I become my host family’s trophy again. “Chi, come meet my uncle, aunt, cousin, her neighbor, her mother-in-law, her friend…..”, “Chi is from America”, “Chi, come here, Chi, now, come here!” Then, they all stare at me and talk endlessly about me, right in front of me! Some people never see a foreigner before so their eyes just keep following me. They laugh when I drink tea, they giggle when I drop my spoon; they nearly have a heart attack when I begin to speak to my host sister with a language other than Azerbaijani. My host family and host sisters all enjoy all these attention but I am just so sick of it. SICK OF IT! I keep telling myself, I did this for Nene, only for nene..

I went through scene like this hundred of times since I arrived in Azerbaijan. I got so very tired of it already. When more guests arrive, I hide myself in the kitchen. “Chi, come here, come out of the kitchen and meet my cousin!” God, how much I hate this. A few times, I just ignore my host sister’s demand and keep washing my dishes. Right now washing 160*8 (my host mother insists on washing all the paper cups, I refuse!) dishes seem to be a better deal for me. My host sister gets very upset with me when I ignore her order. “The hell with you!” I say it loud in English, no one understands anyway. After a few tries, she finally gives up and leaves me alone. The following day, I wake up with a running nose, headache and a bad cold. After being touched and kissed so many times, I finally get the germs from some sick ladies!

I know I am different, I know I am American but with a “Ci” face, I know I am special. I know all that, but I am not a “monkey” or “alien”, I have two eyes, one mouth, two ears, and one noise, just like the rest of them. “Stay with us for 2 years Chi, why not?” My host sister often asked me this question. I think the answer is obvious.

My Life in Azerbaijan - Hi Gloria

January 10, 2010
My friend Gloria surprised me today. I got a phone call from her. She wanted to call me for a long time. I did not want her to spend so much money, so I never gave her my number. Somehow, she got it from someone, (who would that be?) and called me anyway. Cox Sagol, Gloria! (Thank you very much)

The connection was not so good. After a minute or so, we got disconnected. I was depressed before she called, and after talking to her, I felt much better. So, here it is: 011-994-50787-0174, anyone wants to make me happy.

There are many problems that cause my unhappiness here. Those problems are mainly related to my host family. Peace Corps discourages us to write any bad things about Azerbaijan, including our organization; our host family or anything bad about our host country. Last week I was so angry with “the situation” that I nearly wanted to move out regardless what Peace Corps will do. Then, I calmed down, bit my lips and moved on.

I really cannot wait to live on my own, but with the allowance I receive from Peace Corps (226 AZN per month) I do not know how I can manage to move out. The rent alone costs between 130-250 AZN a month. For now, all I can do is to pray every night, asking God to help me.

My Life in Azerbaijan - The Special Tree

January 8, 2010
Everyday after work, I walk home. If I walk fast, it usually takes me about an hour and 15 minutes to get home. I enjoy this walk. When I walk, I observe things around me. As a result, I begin to notice things, beautiful things which I would have missed if I took a bus home instead.

The bank I work is located next to the Caspian Sea. The area is quiet. It has some of the nicest boulevards in town. The avenue which I take my daily walk is very wide, relatively clean, and with less traffic. The apartments in the neighborhoods are very old but have some nice European features, high ceiling with a charming little balcony, but what attracts me the most is the olive tree growing along the sidewalk of every street.

I first noticed the tree by its fruits, but were not sure what they were. Most of my PCV friends are not nature lovers so no one could really tell me the name of the tree. Until one day, my teacher told me that it was the olive tree. Once I found out what they are, I could not help but looking at them everyday as I walk underneath them. There are still some small olives on the branches, some of them are block and some of them are green. The Azerbaijani would pick them in the fall and pickle them for the winter.

The olive tree is not very tall, and its leaves are small with dark green color. Judging by its appearance, you would not say it is a beautiful tree. For me, however, it is a special tree. It reminds me the healthy olive oil I used to put in my salad at home. This tree is the closest thing that connects me back home, maybe that is why I like it so much.

My Life in Azerbaijan - The place I work, CD rate 21%

January 7, 2010
Peace Corps warned us many times, in our “Face book” or “Blog”, not to disclose the place we live, the place we work and also not to mention anyone’s name we know. There will be consequences if we do not follow the rule. So in my blog, I can only tell you that I work for a bank in Azerbaijan.

These are the nice people I work with. They are wonderful and even with the language barrier; they are willing to help me whenever I needed. We often use sign language to communicate and as such, laugh a lot with our funny expressions. They tried their best to make me feel comfortable. They often told me “Ci, problem yoxdur” (No problem), “Ci, cay icirsan?” (you have tea yet?) The two girls who sit next to me often bring me cookies, pastries and chocolates.
Compared to the company QBE, the American I used to work for, it is such a big difference. I still remember how isolated I felt the first day I joined the company. The corporate environment in America can be very cold, unfriendly and sometimes, quite crude. I do not miss it at all and I do not think I will ever want to go back working for the “Wall Street” again.

One more thing about my bank (or any bank in Azerbaijan), the interest rate the bank charged is extremely high. Average rate for a small loan is 36% and can go up to 46%! But if you are willing to invest US dollar here, the CD pays up to 21% per year. Wow, I am thinking…..

My Life in Azerbaijan - New Year Eve and Confront my Fear

December 31, 2009
New Year is a big thing in Azerbaijan. Since two days before the holiday, my host family’s kitchen was already very busy. BiBi (aunt), my host sisters’ aunt came from Ganja to help. Of course, I was told (not asked) to help. I did not mind helping, as a matter of fact, I do want to learn how to cook and make cookies.

The holiday meals for Azerbaijan are identical for each family and for each holiday as well. There are always lots of salad, chicken salad, carrot salad, cheese salad, vegetable salad, salad in a roll, salad in a bow, salad on a plate etc. On top of that are the “National Meals”: kebab, plov, dolma, roasted chicken with stuffing (which was the most delicious of all meals!), and finally, the deserts: a huge cake, many cookies and fruits.

New Year Eve day, after finished breakfast, five women were busy cooking in the kitchen. My jobs were to cut, peel, wash and cut more. They did not trust me to do any cooking. By the time I finished cutting, my hands hurt so much. Around 9:00pm, Ata (father) and Nene (grandmother) came home from the farm and Ata had wine and other drinks for the holiday. Usually, Azerbaijan female is not allowed to drink, but my host family is very open. Hekim, the elder sister (I like her a lot) likes to drink, so I had a drinking partner. Hekim can drink! Both of us had fun that night. Every one in the family was surprise to see me getting a little bit crazy, but they allowed Hekim and I have some fun and did not say any thing. You can see how much fun I had that night!

When midnight arrived, we climbed up to the roof of the chicken shed and played fireworks. I screamed like I was in America (with the help of the wine, of course) and my host sisters thought that I was very funny. After my host sisters went to bed, I stayed a little bit longer on the roof top to watch the stars. A lot of thoughts came to my mind. 2010 New Year Eve indeed was a very special night for me. I was in a foreign land, with three lovely and wonderful host sisters but there is something else, something else that I frustrated me for so long….I need to work it out.

My Life in Azerbaijan - My Nene (grandmother) is Sad

January 1, 2010
This is the 3rd time I saw Nene cry and I finally understand why. Like every family in the world, there are always problems behind the closed door. I have no intention to get involved with people’s business, but when I saw Nene cry, I wanted to comfort her.

Nene left the house alone, so I chased after her and accompanied her for a walk. As soon as I held her arm, then she began to talk and soon, tears rolling down from her chin. I did not understand everything she said, but I knew what made her sad. “NeNe,Ebi Yoxdur” (Never mind it, grandma) was all I could say to her.

NeNe reminds me of my own grandmother. I wish I could spend more time with my grandmother before she passed away. The week she died, I had a dream about her. A week later, I received a phone call from my sister about her death. At that time, I was waiting for my US citizenship papers, so I could not attend her funeral. I still remember how devastated and sad I was that night.

Besides for “J”, my heart always has a soft spot for elder people. I feel it is my duty to care for them, even to a total stranger. Finally, with my broken Azerbaijani, I sat down and gave my host sisters words of advice, “Nene is old, be kind to her”.